Crew cut

We have done it! As a unity of the family some people share a meal, go to the cinema, go to the beach well we started a new team bonding of shaving mummy’s hair. My scalp had started to be a bit prickly painful and a lot of hair just fell out of its own accord or when you briefly just touched it. 

The decision was made. The clippers were to be used. As I was traveling to London today I didn’t want to keep shredding hair and bits of my funky style everywhere I went, ending up looking like one of the abandoned dogs in a rescue centre. The crew cut was going to become my new for now style.

I started taking a bit of the sides off. Holding my breath as I still wasn’t sure about my head shape. Mel was having a bath and she asked if she could help so I said yes! Dan also came in to help with the back of my head and to tidy up loose ends. Myrna finished the crown off and made sure no strangly bits were to be seen. I was sitting down on the bathroom floor at the time so I hadn’t seen how I looked. 

I stood up a little apprehensive to what I was going to see in the mirror but low and behold! I have a great head! It’s more or less the perfect shape! I don’t look stupid at all! I have known for some time I have a good hat head, but for me also to “pull off” the no-hair-head is fantastic news!

I can breathe a sigh of relief. Now I still have a couple of millimeters hair on my head but as the days go on I keep shredding the short hairs so soon I’ll be I think totally hairless. The prickly pain is still there a little bit, but not as much as yesterday and as I’ve today started wearing my wig as I’m travelling to the big smoke for my chemo tomorrow. It’s a great time to get used to the wig as it’s not as hot here as Mallorca.

I’ve heard you shouldn’t flash your bare scalp to the sun, otherwise I think as soon as the prickly painful sensation was to disappear I could grin and “bare” it, (that’s the scalp) but equally I don’t like people that I don’t know to wonder whats wrong with me when they meet me. I had this wig fitted when I was in London last and it fits really well. Looks like my own hair, only this is better! There really is no time needed to fix the style of it! I might wear it to the hairdresser to cut a fringe in it… We will have to see.

Keep smiling 🙂 under that head of hair there might be a magnificent head shape! Not an Avatarian/Kompany in sight!


Final week of chemo “cycle”

I normally love a sport. Any sport except possibly rugby but this chemo palaver even though they call it a “cycle”, it’s pretty hard core and you feel yourself exhausted after going through it… I could classify it as a sport but in reality it’s anything but.

I’m in my 3d week after my 1st cycle (not the type you can take for a ride). My energy levels are acceptably high. Almost back to where I was before all the cancer. Remembering I wasn’t really top energetic before it all hence I had the eye operation.

It’s funny. Whenever I speak about my ailments to somebody new. Introducing them to the coma, TBI, paralyzed left hand side, learning to walk again, starting to ride, wrongly diagnosed parkinsonism, falling off and breaking my knee and elbow, then having a year of on off tiredness and double vision, followed by this latest breast cancer in the midst of sorting out my double vision… I even get tired listing it all up. I can understand people get tired listening to it. It’s unbelievable in a way. Hard to compare really.

I’ve been told I’m too blasé about telling people about my illness. That I shock people in the way I’m telling them I have cancer. I think part of me basically think that everybody knows (I guess from living on a small island) the second part of me is probably not really sensitive enough. I was trying to explain how I’m not really a sensitive person but I also don’t think I am cold at all. Only my temper messing with my award for mother of the month. It’s unfortunately quite sharp.

Everybody’s lives are different and we result in reacting to things happening in very different ways. The problem is when you don’t half recognize yourself in acts you do. I try and slow down, step away, breathe. I have managed to control my temper twice! 

At the moment I try and stay positive. My hair has started to fall out rapidly. It’s not big clumps yet but there is a lot of hair that falls out whenever I touch my hair. I wonder when I will take to the clippers? At least a no 2 (isn’t that a slang for a military haircut?) wouldn’t block my drain plug or make mess on my pillow. I’m not sure as to when to do it. Possibly when I go to England on Monday. We will see.

Diet: Doing well! 5 days without any sugar! Those little tumors can starve! Bye bye Brenda, Brittany and Nina!

Keep Smiling 🙂 there are vegetables you have never heard of, and some are super yummy!

Riding again 

It’s been a long 3 weeks but finally I have managed to get back on a horse! I know it’s not everyone’s first thought of healthy re-hab but for me it’s the number 1 thing getting back to any kind of “normality”.

On a separate point I should just also mention that I have done pilates and yoga as well this week so I am getting a bit more back to active me! The first time I did pilates I couldn’t do anything afterwards. It was compleatly energy zapping. The day after I felt fine. The yoga I did was a “normal” vinyasa class. With headstands and series of planks. Of course I didn’t manage to do all of the movements but I managed 80% more of less. And as my muscles ached the day after I must have done something right!

The weather in Mallorca has not been too kind. Lots of rain which I am sure the flowers love, but unfortunately for us the arenas where we ride is something more like lakes. 

Yesterday I managed to borrow my old champion horse Lara that has been sold to a young rider at my stables. The arenas were not working with us so I just rode around the parking and hacking on the roads around the farm.

Today was a little bit better with at least no more rain during the morning. I managed to properly work Imze along the outside of our big arena. It’s funny, 3 weeks of a horse really can take it out of you. I really feel there is a big challenge for the body to adopt. It probably is partly the chemo so I won’t divulge to far into feeling sorry for my self. Chemo, however lethal it is, is being used on me to try and kill the cancer and cure me. Simpels…

Today we also had a meeting with the founder of Ziva Raw food, Petra. She went through what is healthy to eat and what to avoid. Basically her opening sentence was -“No fruit is allowed, too much fructose” and onwards and upwards from there… -“You should try a detox”.

Well a detox involves 7-10 days only drinking special green smooties. It gives you a lot of energy and cleans your body from the inside. I’m sure it’s a fantastic way of cleansing your self and improving your immune system, but I’m not sure starting it whilst having chemo is the way forward. We will see.

A package arrived in the mail today. My wonderful cousin Cecilia had baked some ginger soaked macaroons, one was ginger with a filling of salted caramel, the other one was chocolate with a white chocolate abc ginger filling! Thankfully they arrived before our meeting with the Raw food guru so we had an almost guilt free sample! They were out of this world and as I’m having my next chemo next week I am going to try and save them for my “after chemo” treat! Ginger was good last time!

Keep smiling 🙂 not nauseous, riding, active! My life is almost normal!!! 


My husband My Hero 

It’s all been sorted! I didn’t want to keep you in a limbo fearing for my safety! I am married to my own personal super hero! He managed to fight the system and together with inside help from the hospital we managed to get my immunesystem booster!

I’ve been doing some digging as well as being plentiful informed of the nature of said booster. I know why they are resistant to giving it in Sweden (cost) but I cannot understand why they fight it here in Spain as we pay for it anyway… But it could maybe be side effects? (Sore muscles and bones) Or that you can only get it through hospital (fear of giving away things you can inject yourself with?)

Now I’ve met my Spanish oncologist and he seams a nice guy. He will in reality only do the “post treatment” of radiation and herceptin after my operation in September if it all goes to plan but it’s good that all of my information of ongoing treatments will be on a file system in Mallorca. He was very honest and a little bit blunt partly because of his English and partly because of being Spanish. He said “-you know with this treatment you are going to lose your hair” -Ah well, yes, there is an 80% chance of me losing my hair but I might belong to the spare 20%? “-No, no in 2 weeks after your first chemo it will be all gone!” Ok that’s settled then.

My biggest or shall I say only worry is the shape of my head. What if I have a really weird shape? The Man City football player Vincent Kompany comes into my mind. Very unfortunate shape. The shape of ones head gives connotations to other people’s appreciation of your intellect/sassiness/style. I am preparing myself as the shape of my head will maybe change the way of how I see myself?

Luckily a lot of sport happens around us right now. One of the finest things happened! The golden hornets are top of the leauge. Come on Watford! 

Keep Smiling 🙂 the shape of your head might surprise you!

Joint pain

Here comes a chapter about day 8 after chemo. I’ve been very good at grading pain and nausea over the past week. I’ve done a chart with medicines contra pain/nausea relief.

On Monday I finished my antibiotics I was on after the chemo. I then also stopped taking the pain killers I had been on since last week. The nausea slowly got less and yesterday finished for real! Food still taste weird/unusual and energy levels have been a bit low but I could feel everything going in the right direction!

Then I woke up this morning. A small child climbed into my bed for a morning cuddle and all I could feel was pain. Aching from the bottom of my pelvis spiraling down my limbs and radiating through every joint in my body. I couldn’t lie down. I tried sitting up and then the pain twin-folded. Only standing up either slightly leaning forward or walking in a small circle could ease the worst of the pain. It was seriously scary. As at the same time I tried to read the macmillans website about possible side effects to chemo, but I couldn’t find it. After an hour of crying/swearing/shivering and mostly standing, I decided to restart the painkillers I still had. When you started them you always started with a double dose.

After another hour I was almost pain-free! I got hold of some people in the UK that said that I needed to do a blood sample today to see where my whiteblood cell count and immune system was. They said that joint pain could be a side effect of the chemo or the immune boost injection I had a week ago.

I went to my local hospital to do the blood test. They were then supposed to fax the results back to LOC in London. Me and Dan then managed to squeeze in a lunch at lovely Perrito cafe in Santa Catalina. I felt almost normal planning this summers holidays, well as normal as you can planning it between bursts of chemotherapy.

Then my phone called. It was a doctor from the LOC. They had my values back from the blood sample. Not a white blood cell count to be proud of. Nearly “null” immune system, I was ordered to stay away from sick people (more than before) and to get 3 more immune boosting injections (so my joints can get a little more sore!). Well I give you a mission to try and get any Spanish doctor to agree giving the immune boosting injections to someone who isn’t already properly ill. Good luck with that. Maybe add that the patient has a low immunesystem before chemo and after her TBI some 2 1/2 years ago gets severely infected when she does catch something. My husband and I have called every possibility, every long line of friends on the island to try and get hold of the injections. (The only thing I haven’t tried is my vet) The LOC has called us another 3 times to hear about how we are getting on getting the injections. In the end they decided to put me on antibiotics again. So for my safety I am again eating another 5 days antibiotics. I feel ok so far, my youngest daughter Millie is a little more tired than usual and as I have to be so careful we are taking her temperature about once an hour. She has been told she is not allowed to sit in my lap which makes me irresistible to her! Forbidden fruit! 

But that has also been a theme throughout the day, people saying that fruit is bad for cancer patients. That you need to starve off sugar and that includes fruit sugar to become cancer free. They then say all you can eat are green vegetables as they are the only thing you can eat not feeding your cancer… At the moment it’s all a bit too much to take in, and I also went past the Swedish food shop in Santa Catalina finding a few favorites like Kex chocolate/ dammsugare (greenies) and some liqorish chocholate. They made their way into my handbag and now back in my house! I will go through my diet properly tomorrow when there is more time to think.

Keep smiling 🙂 all of a sudden your diet will make sense! Until then be happy over the senseless beauty of Swedish treats!

Little by little

2 days at home and even though I am an eighth of the person I normally would be I am here, surrounded by my lovely family! Myrna had managed to lose 2 teeth! She is now according to Mel 6 teeth year!

I don’t have much strength to do anything, even just walking upstairs is a bit of a hassle. Well hassle isn’t really a word for it, running a marathon would feel easier in my previous body than walking up those stairs in this chemo plumped one. Nausea has gotten better! For the last two days it’s been horrible but today it’s easing a little. I think the ginger tea and ginger snacks really help! I might get someone to pick me up some ginger snaps!

Food has changed taste. It’s so strange. You think you know what food should appeal to you. Especially if you are feeling nauseous, but no, chemo compleatly changes how you taste things. Nausea gets improved after eating, but the plainer the better. At the moment pasta pesto is a winner! As well as toast with butter on. I’ve done a lot of reading on what you should eat when you have chemo. To make things more bearable. An article I read yesterday compared giving fruits to cancer patients to give spirits to alcoholics! The cancer cells according to the author can’t feed if the body is in ketosis. This means no or low carbs and lots of fat and protein… I’m not against this theory, but I have done the Atkins diet before and that made me so nauseous! Eating just eggs for breakfast is something I would only do if I felt really well to begin with. I don’t see how I could put my body in to ketosis state anytime soon… Well well you live and you learn.

Today my house has had visitors! I’ve been able to walk around and show the new kitchen and some of the building works! It’s brilliant, almost finished now! Although of course as we are coming up to the “finish line” new problems appear. We have a new water leak for example… And new cracks in walls. Not to worry. I’m sure it will all get sorted.

My last visit of today was one of my husbands cycling friends. Before I was diagnosed with cancer I had decided to pimp one of my road bikes into a “real” bike. Changing the handle bar and pedals. Get a more comfy seat. I was going to use it to get to the stable and go for local rides. A bit more upright and using normal shoes. Before all of this I saw it as a great plan to get into biking again. John brought her back today! And she is a thing of beauty! She is wonderful with her new pink handles! I felt like a 5 year old being presented with my first bike without stabilizers. I’m not sure I’d manage to ride it right now but at least now I have something to look forward to!

Keep smiling 🙂 soon I will ride again!!!

On way home

So after nearly 2 weeks away from my family I am on my way home. Just landed for a transfer in Madrid as all the direct flights were fully booked on such short notice. I blame it on St Patric’s days celebrations in Magaluf.

The last couple of days have been testing. I wish I had cravings for sour regurgitation. But as i don’t, it mostly means that I feel sick all the time. Sick and shaky. And tired. So tired I can fall asleep most anywhere and any time. So that in itself isn’t too bad, it’s the combo of tiredness, shakiness and sickness that just isn’t a qualifiable quality for good rest.

Yesterday my lovely second cousin Tony came up to our flat to see us. He was the bringer of gifts. All things ginger and anti-nausea that you could think of as well as travel sickness bands, tea, hand creams… Wow! Thank you so much Tony! Your tea has been a lifesaver a couple of times already!

I managed to go and see the Warhorse! What a performance! The giant puppets that were the horses, were although they were “puppeteered” by 3 grown men they became real horses on stage. So beautiful. They got every movement of the horse. It was quite dark and I don’t think I would take my girls to see it for another couple of years, I think they are coming up to Cats age soon.

I’ve had so much support and help from all over. Thank you all of you that have given some time and thought. Really can’t wait to get home now. One more flight to go!!!!

Keep Smiling 🙂 soon I’ll get to hug my family again!


I know it’s a said truth Maysis can be a part of the process when it comes to chemo. Yesterday I woke up at 4am feeling like I was on a ship and it was really stormy. The whole world was spinning and I was shaking. I was worried I was getting sick so I used my new thermometer for the first time. Apparently at 37.5 degrees you have to contact the LOC (London Oncology Centre) and at 38 degrees you have to go to hospital. I’m normally not a fuzzy person but these rules have been firmly slapped on me for the last couple of weeks. Yesterday morning I waited until 9.30 to take my temperature, it was 36.7! High five me!

The problem is I get tablets against the nausea. I get 3 tablets per day. Yesterday I took the first at 4.30am the second around 11.30am the third one at 6.40pm and the day was still broken up by me having to lie down for a short sleep twice. It was mums birthday so my aim was just to be able to go out for a short early dinner at next door restaurant with my mum and mother in law. Mission completed! 

We came back home at 8.30pm to watch some of Red Nose Day on telly. After seeing Stephen Hawkins turning in to a transformer and zapping up the annoying carer (played by David Wallians) it was again time for bed.

At 1am I woke up again. Not too nauseas but as I’d already had my sleep during the day, my body wasn’t all tuned in to go to sleep. Then came 1.35 and a wave of nausea. I now think time is somewhere in region of 2.30am. I can’t take my anti nausea tablet because that will screw up my day and today we are booked in to see War Horse at Drury lane so I really need to be on top form at 2.30pm.

I have mentally set my dosing of medicine:

Anti sickness 6am 1pm 7pm

Antibiotics 6am 12pm 16pm 20pm

Pain killer 6am 12pm 7pm (if needed)

Steroids after breakfast, after lunch

The other meds have been finished. As they were more for first and second day of treatment. I still have 3 more possible meds, but unfortunately neither of them is against nausea. I’m not sure what to do now. Fully awake in a Friday night London. Not as loud as the Saturday night last week but I’m too much of a country bumpkin to ignore  the strange sounds of sirens and bottle bank emptyings. My curiosity/imagination for following up compleatly made-up-in-my-head accidents/special finds/terror attacks/biological war fare really does not help to settle me back to sleep. Nor does the ongoing nausea/sickness.

I just thought I’d get this out there. I’ve sworn to myself to be the best and strongest I can be. If this is it, I’m not sure I’m cut out for this “job”, but what won’t kill you makes you stronger they say, well Hulk move over, I’m coming to get you!

Oh and thank you everyone that sends me emails of encouragements/comments on here or Facebook/Instagram/Twitter I know for many it’s not “their thing” the whole digital media, but it definitely makes me feel less lonely here!

Keep smiling 🙂 it actually makes you feel less sick!!!!

Last meeting with surgeon for a while.

Today I was bound for my wig fitting. We went to Selfridges, Oxford Street. As it was the first day after the chemo I was quite tired. I woke up feeling nauseous but I took 1 of my 11 prescribed drugs and it seamed to settle the seasickness in bed syndrome. We (me and mum) were supposed to walk to Selfridges but decided to take a taxi.

I arrived 2 hours before fitting so we had a tea break and a little bit of shopping instead. The fitting was painless. I found a wig that felt almost like me. It’s quite short a little blond but with proper roots in darker, so it does feel like real hair! I think it will be fine for every day wear, or I’ve bought a hat that I could use as well. 

Then we had lunch. After lunch we went back home. I had to inject myself with an immune system booster. I asked if mum wanted to watch. She misunderstood and thought I wanted her to inject me. I’ve seen her injecting horses so I thought hell no!!!

As I started injecting my belly mum was oooing  and aaaring, commenting all the way -more force!!! -harder!!! -oooo, the needle snapped!!! There is no needle!!! (Screaming at this stage)

The injecting syringe was a safety one that “swallowed” the needle into itself when the injection was done! After the injection I had worn mum out and she stayed at home to rest when I went for my last meeting with the surgeon.

There was good and bad news. The good news were all the operation scars looked good! Surgery had gone to plan! The not so good news was the disection of the lymph node had come back with cancer cells. The cancer being HER2+ means that the proteins are a bit faster and more vicious moving. They were not too worried. They keep extra control on the other lymph nodes during the next 6 months. Then when we have the operation in September, they will remove the rest of the lymph nodes. I feel ignorance is brilliance in a way nowadays! It’s nice to know things but in the same way it’s such relief not knowing some details. Well when you can relax and just go with it, not feeling too tired to fall asleep, thinking and brewing thought patterns.

The evening was spent with my lovely cousin Aletta. She works in London and could come to see me straight after work. We had booked a table at the Ritz hotel for High tea!

It was nothing short of brilliant! I can only say, I do not recommend to go to a High tea at the Ritz the day after chemo. It was delicious, no doubt, but there was so much of it! I could eat maybe a third of what we were given. And I’m still in a mode of complete fullness 3 hours after we have arrived back home. Hence blog writing seams on the card!

Tomorrow we wait a few more days here to make sure I can fly back on Sunday. I miss my girls and Dan! I wish they could be here, but maybe for them it’s better they are over there. 

Keep smiling 🙂 even with very short hair you can rock it!

First chemo #1 of #8

Its been had. The pink poison has been delivered into my veins and I am now starting to feel a little bit tired from it. A long day, almost finished. I thought I’d update you all on the process.

At 8.30am the treatment was booked in to start. Me accompanied by my mum. I was fasting as the blood sample they needed to take would show off a more accurate figure if I was fasting. I have very high cholesterol on top of everything else, so they just wanted to make triply sure if I needed to start taking statins against it or not. I can hear a ton of you shouting at the computer! “Don’t do it!!! Statins not the answer!!” And I agree. I’m really the first person to agree to disagree about any long term medications. I would love to say the politically correct reason for me to dislike medicines, but to tell you the truth it’s mostly just 2 reasons that make me hate meds:

1. They have side effects that you can’t control. They make you fat or moody. I mean seldom do they make you glamorous, thin and energized…

2. There is a firm possibility you will forget to take it… Well then what? Are enough studies made on people who “neglect” their meds for a couple of days? No I don’t think so either. 

I know at the end of this chemo I have to go on 5 years worth of hormone stopping meds. To really kill off any possibility of the cancer returning in any form. But that’s different. I know the reason, I basically have “bought the t-shirt”, and to prevent the food of the cancer which in my case feeds on hormones, there is just one way, get rid of them… Hormones can be good for quite a lot of things in life. 3 of my best assets are thanks to my hormones I guess. (My 3 lovely girls) and although in years to come (their teenage years) I might curse the hormones, in the same way I will be thankful that I’ve had some even though they have ended up supporting the killing team… Move over hormones, you are next on the list!!!!

We came to the Dungeon of Dread which I had re-named to the Dungeon of Death to the horror of the 20 year something nurse that was looking after me. Because my “port-a-cath” was so new they decided to put the catheter in my vein in the hand instead. 2 failed attempts from the young nurse another nurse stepped in (also young and Irish). She managed after one fail to put the needle in and attach the tubes for the drip. She took the fasting blood samples and by this time I was getting really hungry.

After another 40 minutes they came back to say one of the blood samples either had or hadn’t coagulated. Hence the reason more blood had to be pulled but from a new site as the saline apparently had made the catheter unusable… Ok so needle inserted in another space in the hand again. This was all done on the left hand as I have had a lymph node taken out under my right arm. Blood taken again and finally I could have some breakfast!!!

Whilst breakfast was given my fancy headwear was being fitted and turned on. It has to go on really tight and first they wet your hair and add conditioner to it. Then they strap on the helmet. “Oh you should be used to this being a rider and all”… I heard the strapping down nurse saying. She literally couldn’t have strapped it any harder. It was hard opening my mouth so eating breakfast was out of the question. I asked her to give a little slack on the chin strap. Then the machine was turned on. Had I not already been in so much pain from the arm, I still think it would have been too much! I don’t often cry, but I could feel myself welling up.

After breakfast the young nurse arrived again and started to pour the “E” compound into the catheter. It has to be done manually and has to be mixed with saline on its way in. The “C” compound is much friendlier and easier to administrate. We had gone through the possible side effects of the chemos a hundred times it seams yet there are always new ones creeping up. The bleeding gums and today a lot of focus on constipation. After 15 minutes trying to administer “E” to my vein and failing hopelessly as my vein decided it didn’t wanna play today. I could add another “possible side effect” to the list: me accidentally killing a nurse for stabbing my veins…

Another nurse came down to the dungeon. The head main man for blood extraction. He had one go with a wider needle. Stabbed a couple of times and after causing me some more pain he decided to call it the day. No more veins were in sight on that left arm and hand. They had used their electric blanket to try and conn my veins out of hiding, but to no avail. 

The superior head nurse came in and explained it wasn’t safe to use any of my narrow nasty veins. I could come back on Friday and use the “port-a-cath” as they didn’t like to use a “newly fitted” one. Mum started to call it my “port-a-loo” and she’s not wrong there. We were going back and forwards with the pros and cons of doing the chemo on Friday. Of course at the end you would do what is safe for you. If the “E” would come in contact with any of my skin or tissue it would burn it. That’s why they are so careful administering the drugs.

We waited for them to get hold of my boss woman, Dr Jones. She wasn’t happy. They were all told off I think as they shamefully came back to me with a “plan C”(sorry not the “C” drug it gets a bit confusing…) I was going to have the chemo today. They were going to use the “port-a-loo”! In the waiting game they had turned my helmet off and after wearing it for a good two hours I can’t say it was still painful. Uncomfortable yes, but not painful. But I was so cold. All of my hands, legs but first and foremost head ofcourse. They had removed it and I had dried my cm spiky hair. Mum touched my scalp and yelped! I got two nurses in my little “hut” and we started the conversation hat or no hat. It’s only a 50% chance that it will work. Most of the time you will only keep some hair… I think that’s almost worse. Thin hair that you have to be so careful with not to destroy…. Weighing up the issues on the one hand a possibility to maybe keep some hair with the combination off adding 2 1/2 hours to every chemotherapy session OR just hope you are one of the 20% that magically keeps their hair and just enjoy (?) chemo as a quiet time. For reflection not just pain and cold.

I decided to go hatless for the rest of the treatment and when they used the”port-a-cath” it went really smoothly. I was finished at 3.30pm and I could leave! I didn’t have to wait with the cold hat until 5.30pm! A small victory in it self.

We went back to the flat but as I had been in all day I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. I brought a Chocholate box bought at Fortnum & Mason and a card to lovely Max the hairdresser at MichelJohn’s. His surprised delight to see me and to receive his gift was priceless! In the card I did leave a note that I was writing about him here. Let’s hope he can read my handwriting and can see everything good he has done in the world. Well in my world that is!!!

I was contacted by a young girl from Mallorca. The strange thing is she contacted me the time in January I was over looking at horses as she wanted me to find her one. After the videos I made and sent to her it all went a bit quiet from her. Well I had my own problems and when you scout horses for people that you don’t teach and know well you don’t know if they will go for the type of horses you think could be good. I didn’t worry but then I heard that she had been diagnosed with thyroid cancer. She had her second op yesterday and she is so brave. I think she is using my blog as an English practice but she also told me it gives her energy and positive inspired optimism! (Her words!!) that’s an incredible feeling so Neus here is for you! Besos grandes!

A slow stroll through Mayfair with mum in a lovely early evening. Some shopping of rare books might have happened as well as some secret purchase for my lovely husband. It’s hard when you have treatment in a different country from where your family is. I’m not sure who it’s harder for. I think them. Here I have a schedule every day. I know what I’m up to every day, but I’m in a new environment. I guess at home there is a small shaped hole on the sofa. Many cuddles to be missed out on. I think my dog Smilla (well technically she belongs to Myrna) misses me the most. Her and Jack (the other Miniature Jack Russel) are telepathicly tuned into my whereabouts. They know roughly as soon as I know that I am going somewhere. That being a day ahead or 2 weeks. Very strange.

Now back at the flat and other than me being exhausted there are no other side effects so far! Fingers crossed!

Keep Smiling 🙂 Your loved ones can feel your love even when you are removed from each other! <3