Finding ones way

I’m super happy to announce the revival of single vision! Double vision that can be fun every once in a while can become a total bore to have. Especially when it involves jumping fences. To turn up to a line of fences, either a combination or a triplebar, then to be faced by an array of poles, all same colors, but at different distances and angles, not the best if you try and jump them.

Now it’s been a week and 1 day since my operation. I only have one vision! It’s great! I jumped a little yesterday and now I can only blame myself or bad riding if I miss a fence, it has nothing to do with my vision! I still have not tried out combination of riding or driving whilst tired where the problem was the most obvious before, but over all a huge improvement!

I’m now trying to find my way back to normality. Only who am I kidding? My lowest speed is a bit like a kid high on sugar. And I like it that way! I can’t seam to “slow” down. I have tried to be more sensible and considerate. Especially to my poor family. But as they are partly me I’m sure they will understand, if not now, in years to come… Let’s hope!

When I was in the UK for the week of the operation we maximized on the things we fitted in. Harry Potters studios, the 100 akre woods, a trip to Ireland to try a pony and a trip to Hamleys to find some shopkins! We managed to travel by train, underground, bus and taxi! All fitted in in 6 days flat! As well as an eye op! And a business breakfast whilst planning for the autum and winter ahead. Phew, just reading back the lines makes me wonder if the slowing down stedying one self might make it easier to remember things…

Today I have started slow with some bloodworks. I have my blood analyzed for irregularities every quarter to six months, to stop me getting totally exhausted. This time the blood was fine for the first time ever! So finding my way back to the half crazed speedy swede clearly is good for me! 

Keep smiling 🙂 wake up and explore the day!

Double trouble 

The problems my eyes have is not apparent even to themselves until I put some pressure on them. If I feel ok, not under stress or too tired I have one vision, a pretty decent one as well so I don’t have to worry about glasses yet. Then tiredness hits me, or I try to concentrate turning into a big triple combination, all of a sudden there are poles everywhere, I don’t know what fence or what line is the correct one as I have become a squinter  (although a “slight” one) after the first accident.

Last year I had an operation on my left eye where the most squintiness seamed to come from. That year I had only been diagnosed with cancer 4 days before the op and had a second operation booked in during that week to remove my right breast. I’m not sure if it was the focus on the bigger picture that made last years op so simple. Or possibly the professionalism of the surgeon or the solid support from my family. I had a calm around me that I from then managed to keep with me for every following operations and treatments. I have now been “cancer free” for 1 month and shouldn’t have anything to worry about, hence why I am suddenly aware of everything around me.

As a whole I’m not worried about tomorrow’s operation. I’ve as said, done one before. So what are these nerves? The slight concern that something might not add up tomorrow? I never have bad feelings about anything almost, I am not the worrying kind which makes this such a strange experience.

Also because Dan is cycling in the Pyrenees during the Haute Route, I am in the uk on my own with the girls. 

Today we went to Harry Potter studio tour in Watford. I went there with 3 girls and arrived back to Farmors (granny paternal) house with 2 witches and 1 buckbeak. I said my goodnightes to everybody, and as my body was in this unnatural state of worry, it was as part of me said goodbye. 

Now I’m really tired as I see everything double. I wish I will fall asleep quickly and that no bad dreams will wake me up.

Keep smiling 🙂 even if you know it will be your last one, make it count!