I wrote something last week

And it never published!

I know how it started

“Ah yet again a long long time since you heard from me! I’m out doing hence no writing!”

Then it was mostly a dragged out episode of the last 3-4 months, they have been quite full of stuff, but not as standing out shining examples worth writing about…

So I talked about the nasty English weather that with it’s nastiness made us happy to be in London and appreciating living in Mallorca even more.

It didn’t try to be too smug or funny. I had a bit of a fever when I wrote it and I think that’s why I somehow lost it and didn’t see it published anywhere.

We are in London this week. We were supposed to fly back home today, but no. I have been diagnosed with deep seated pneumonia on my left lung. I was seeing my surgeon late yesterday afternoon, and he basically phoned to the clinic next door and then took my hand and physically led me to this “new doctor” and told them to nebulize me. That’s basically letting me breathe bubbly saltwater. The new doctor was not impressed by the low oxygen levels in my blood, and as she knew we were supposed to go back to Mallorca today she asked us to change the ticket for tomorrow. I was also booked in to see another doctor this morning to check out my well-being.

The new doctor was a man from the old school of doctoring. I can’t see him take a short cut anywhere when it comes to medical issues. After listening to my lungs he asked if he could do an X-ray. I said -no problems, as I thought if there was anything pneumonia like there it should have started to get better already as I had started taking antibiotics a day or so before. There was pneumonia there. A lot of it. All on my left lung. And no! Flying with these lungs is a definite no no. He needed me to stay in London for another week… Eh I said I have small children or at least medium sized small children waiting for me to come back home. Ok he said, I will see you back here on Monday and then we can decide what to do.

So I am now stuck in England, until further notice!

Pneumonia is a drag. I cough like a true smoker. Have had fever coming and going all this week. I have no appetite or thirst. Even when I do eat, it doesn’t taste like it should do. So what do one do when you can’t speak because you cough too much, you can’t really eat, because your stomach doesn’t want you to? You research pneumonia online! It’s awful! I know I shouldn’t have, but I’m more convinced something boring like pneumonia could actually kill me. I better not go in to a hospital because according to some online sites about 30% off all pneumonia in intensive care ends up in death! See I told you! Never research your illness online. It will only make you feel worse!

The trip to London was really to do my quarterly oncologist dues. This time it was bloods and bones. A simple blood test checking all normal cancer markers as well as a bone density scan to see how my bones were doing with the taking of Tamixofen. I had to calculate the amount of broken bones, and also which bones I had broken in my life…-Eh, could I just tell you about my last 7 years? -Oh no, be specific and try not to forget anything. -Ok, I said, I’ll try my best .

This list was only done yesterday and I have 5 more breaks that I had forgotten about then… the amount of bones is also always a tricky one… when people ask if I ever had or what the types of bones I have broken were my standardized answer has always been -I’ve broken every bone except the jawbone, more or less!

For you interested in my bones, they are doing ok. Have become slightly more weakened this last year but nothing more than they were expecting.

I think by looking back at that list and also thinking about the breaks that are not included one could wonder why I still do it? I could ride a horse before I could walk. They have always been for me the way to come back to fitness, mental as well as physical. That, or otherwise all the concussions I had as a child falling of ponies. My mother was once called in by the accident and emergency crew for a questioning regarding all my concussions. They were all horse related, but I think we came in on a weekly basis for 5 or 6 weeks. Determined child syndrome. Or maybe we should call it determined pony child syndrome!

It could not have been an easy task growing up around me! Or having me growing up around all of you!

You should all have medals!

Keep Smiling 🙂 if you are HOT like me today!

Valid question from fellow Origen concert goer, after I had been dancing around and happily paparazzied all the papparazzies behind the stage.

Dans answer: -She is just happy to still be here.

This was from last Sunday’s Origen music festival of the DJ variety. Carl Cox was headlining and we had been invited by our S’mores loving friend Sarah.

We didn’t quite know what we had signed ourselves up for as we arrived to Son Fusturet where the stage had been erected.

Thousands of people aged 15-21 were flooding the streets surrounding the venue. The girls were wearing very little clothes and the boys mostly surrounded themselves around a parked car playing loud music on the car park.

Thanks to Sarah’s close friendship with Carl Cox we found ourselves at the top of the stage. It was called Backstage access but a more appropriate name would have been on stage, all over access…

When Carl started his set I had gone to see my godson that was working in the V-VIP bar. He was greatly surprised by seeing his godmother/auntie visiting the festival and even more so when we got a message to please join everybody on the stage.

For 2 hours straight we were dancing whilst mr Cox was mixing the tunes. I can’t say that I was ever an avid techno fan, nor do I know if the music actually was techno or if it falls under any other sub title like ambient, electro, base, dubbing… whatever style it was it gave me little wings on my feet. If you were one of the 6000 people there and you saw something pink flying around Carl Cox, that might have been me.

Hence the question: -Why is she so happy? What is she on?

Simple things: waking up, breathing, sometimes sleeping, that is what I am on.

I am so happy to still be here! Grateful to still see our girls growing up. This is most probably a very declaration of High on life! On top of everything they were streaming confetti and long garlands in my show colors, green, yellow and pink!

Keep smiling 🙂 around the corner there might be a musical wonder that transfers you to your happy place.

Dear all, sorry for yet another absence. Only due to doing too many fun and time consuming things. 

On one of these outings, namely on a mountaineering spree in south Croatia I had an AHA moment.

Some have these spiritual moments. For others they find their calling. For me it was the complete and utter realization there must be something missing in my basic put togetherness.

I was sat on a rock mid climb, trying to explain a shortened version of my last 6 trying years, whilst forgetting ailments and the adding them to my story at a later twist my co climbers suddenly got quiet.

Not only did it seam like too much happening to one person as it sounded a bit almost made up. I wish! The following question from my co climbers was: -So why are you climbing?

Good question. Valid. The answer? I’m not sure, it’s good fun? I like trying new things? I like challenging myself? I’d like to find new ways of injuring/possibly killing myself?

I’m not sure. I just signed up to the climbing to be a partner for my 9 year old Mel as she wanted to climb a real mountain. It never once occurred to me that me weighing a little bit more than double of her weight, she wouldn’t make a great bi-liner for me, as she lifted from the floor as soon as I leant back in my harness. It was all good comedy whilst on the climbing wall with instructors handy to advise and take over when things were going a bit too far.

After a few days of wall practice we made it to the Paklenica nature reserve. Climb heaven for all of you that have never been. A fabulous mixture of easy to medium to hard core cliff hangers. 

As Mel is the far more confident as well as skilled climber of the two of us, she went first. I bi-lined (was her safety rope holder) a few times but also the instructor Cat was there to help us.

Climbing is a beautiful sport. It’s just you and some stone. Sometimes a tricky little tree that has somehow managed to grow vertically on a sheer rock face. 

Where we climbed, routes had been lined up, but never in my wildest dreams had I imagine it to be as trying as it was.

It could maybe have been because of my previously broken and mended right knee, or possibly my newly healed sternum, or for that fact the most painful bit of my body are my fingers that I injured by just falling on the street a couple of weeks ago. No horses, skis or dancing competition involved. Just me and a side walk. Level as far as I know. The next second, again like in slow motion I am flying through the air… only to land on my outstretched fingers and my right cheek. I know whilst in the air and especially as I was hitting the ground, my one and only thought was -How on earth will I explain this to Dan?

Well nothing other than bruising and a bit of swelling happened. I will be known as the least graceful mother in my youngest daughters street dance crew as the fall happened right in front of other parents from said group.

Now back to my AHA experience.

There I was hanging by one fearfully sore left hand as I was trying to find anywhere to place my right foot and transfer some weight over. The question of why I was doing the climb, after everything that has happened to me it suddenly came to me. This journey that we are on, the one where we live, and learn or sometimes just keep injuring ourselves, that’s the point. It’s the journey that takes us wherever we end up. The people we meet. The wonders we see. It’s the never ending story. Because it’s true. It will never end. That’s why I climb.

Keep climbing, and smiling 🙂 you never know where next you will go

In another life, far far away on a timeline galaxy called my youth I was told by a Asian lady doctor, that if I didn’t slow down in life, I would never achieve all my potential quests. At the time I was just concentrating on my show jumping, the medical problem I had at the time was not in the slightest related to horses, work or winning so I put the recommendation far far away, in a bottom corner of my space like brain.

Time went on as time does. Not too kindly, but in one way possibly the only way it could have done. As the 6 year anniversary of my initial “big” accident is creeping nearer I reflect back on how I could have done things differently, and I realize, there is nothing I could have done. We are here, where ever we might be. On decisions we have made or some that have been made for us.

As people keep asking why I continue riding and competing. It’s what keeps me going. It’s never simple. The horses are to me the greatest form of physical and mental therapy.

Last weekend was full of laughter and fun, I jumped The Drawness (Draw) in a 120 and he jumped a fabulous clear round and won! This weekend I was going for the Mallorcan championship. 2 days jumping at RCEEM close to Bunyola.

First day fabulous. First time jumping 125 for 6 years. Super clear and finished 3d. I was joint leader for the championship. All ready for the first 130 in 6 years.

It was a strange day, it was thunderstorms all around where we were but not a drop of rain… until the jump off directly before my class. The sky opened, and for 10 minuets it was flowing down. Great for the arena and the warm up as they hadn’t watered it in fear of the rain to come.

Draw warmed up brilliant for the 130. In the ring, I admit I got a little carried away and I started turning and adding a stride and using Draws ability and scope a bit too much. It turnes out I managed to turn inside of a fence I hadn’t planned and he stopped. A quick turn around again and he jumped well and still finished with a super time, so we ended up 3d again. Now second in the championships.

Jump off, and another course set, 8 obstacles. I was 5th to go with Draw. I warmed up well. No missing, adding strides or being too hard. Then we started the course. It started on a big S-curve with 3 big oxers. The 3d leading in to a 2 stride double. He jumped really well number 1 and 2. Turning up to the double I had a really good stride to it, but I think Draw was still thinking about the first round where he had to “carry” me through, so he stopped. Again I turned a circle and approached on a good stride, I was really going for it now. But sadly Draw had had enough. He stopped, I continued, fast ramming the fence. Clipping my cheekbone on the purple wing.

My first thought was not about me or pain or horse, it was with my children. That previously were so proudly watching their mum, now seeing her crashing right in front of them. I had blood coming down on my cheek where the impact had been, but otherwise no real pain in the rest of my body. I was checked over in the ambulance and in the end they thought it would be better to drop me off at a hospital, to be able to x-ray and assess if there was a concussion.

So here I am. Another night in hospital. Not where I would ever wish to be. But as luck as it, my eye is fine, my cheekbone is not broken, my body, other than stiff and a little purple in places is A-Ok! Purple is such a cool color anyway…

Dan has already been here! Feeding me beautiful smoothie from favorite raw food guru Petra’s restaurant Ziva. Doctor has been and other than the impressed face (could have been distressed face) when reading my bible thick journal, he was only pleased to say I will probably be let out after lunch!

I know I’ve put my whole family through hell. It’s my only concern right now. Is it selfish to continue with this thing that makes me feel alive? First question from my sister, “-Has Dan asked you to give up yet?”

No, and I don’t expect him to ever ask me. I should listen more to myself and know my own limits. I will probably drop down a level next time and see how I will do. Lovely Leo can maybe start taking over as first horse from Draw, he has a little more blood and it might help him here in the heat?

I hope I have not lost faith. Body is sore but I think it’s because the last painkiller I got was 7am. To be honest with you, my biggest fear yesterday was that they would find something other than fractures on the CT scan. The evil cancer that might have decided to carry on in my brain, or my spine… but no! So far cancer free-(ish) and fracture free-(ish). I will not tempt faith another time by answering the question, -“Is there any bone you haven’t broken?” I had one answer to that question, but now I stay quiet. Bones are there there to be broken apparently. As illnesses are there to be had.

Keep Smiling 🙂 it’s just another day in hospital (Phil Collins could maybe try that out as lyrics for his new song)

Slowly but surely getting better by the day… January and February was devoted to sofa in living room, cuddles with small dogs, involving no lifting, no riding, no running, no going to the gym, no swimming…. involving a lot of sentences starting with my new favorite word-NO.

Hence by the end of February I tried getting back on a horse again. At first very slowly, but as I am getting a full professor-hood in recovery riding I was soon cantering again! I had already cancelled my entries for Oliva Nova, MET II, but I had one of my horses jumping there with Stephanie Holmen, Billy Cointreau, so I decided to go over and watch the show for one of the weekends. Billy as they call him in Sweden where he now lives, won the opening 140 for the weekend, and even though we had awfully stormy weather he jumped like a champion.

I know I have not been writing here for long, basically I have been to busy living and getting my energies back. I have discovered I am not as nice a person energized as I am when I tired. I am not sure why but I get super sharp and very matter-of-fact with my loved ones. That’s inexcusable and something the energized me will have to work on.

Two very unexpected deaths of friends in their “prime of life” mid 50’s has made me realize how lucky I am. To still be here. To still worry about silly things like weight gain during my sofa-healing time. I feel so thankful even on a bad day that at least I am still here. I do believe in life beyond this but I am still so thrilled over the mystery of the life that we live here. So even though I might be short and sharp, there is an abundance of love and care from this recovering sofa-surfer.

During my sofa sitting, Netflix binging beginning of year I was watching a lot of series, I will be anyone’s basic go-to-woman when it comes to opinions on any series found online. As I was worried the sofa and binging would end up with me twice my size, I used an app called my fitness pal, it was Dan that recommended it to me. It is a very easy way of “controlling” what you eat. You basically get given an amount of calories you are allowed per day, I managed to loose nearly 4 kg during the two months. Some people say it might be muscle and they are probably partly right, but for when you are not very active it’s a very useful tool to use.

Now I’m back riding up to 6 horses per day, teaching and training. The only reason I am writing this is because my flight to London is delayed 3 1/2 hours, I was just going over the day to London, if it gets much more delayed I will have to stay here as I will miss my appointments with lots of doctors. My return flight is booked for tonight 11.30pm… ah the joys of flying “economy” airlines… I think I actually lose money flying like this.

There is something in the air. When it comes to low cost flying… or maybe I shouldn’t say air as I am still solidly on ground….

On a whole different part of life, the whole family went to our first live concert in Barcelona! Imagine Dragons were playing and as we all know all of their songs from the Evolve album especially, it was a great way to “break” in the kids to appreciate live music. It also made me realize I have the urge to do an “Esporlasbury” following the 2014 “Bunyolabury”. We had 12 live acts in the first music festival. I think we could make it in to a every second yearly event!

Keep smiling 🙂 life is beautiful, enjoy, endure, inspire, live it without any regrets!

A new year begins. All lovely resolutions, plans for the future, clearing ones head, clearing ones life.

New structure, diet, exercise regime, cleaner house, tidier wardrobes.

Year on year, there is the immense possibility of failure. This year I managed to break 3 days before the new year begun, although it wasn’t confirmed until yesterday.

I knew there was something wrong, with the amount of pain that I had. Of course I was hoping that it was more chance of muscular and nerves damage, but with yesterday’s consultation with a doctor that cared she found it. The upper crack leading through the sternum about 2 cm from the top, the second one further down to the right. The doctor insisted that an MRI should still be done to find out the severity of the muscular break around Bella. Never in my wildest dreams could I have come up with this terrible conclusion.

I was once again invited to the “Idrottsgala” which is the sports personality of the year in Sweden. It was held in the Globe in Stockholm on Monday the 15th of January. At the time I had gotten better pain relief and I didn’t have a confirmed broken breastbone, so I thought a quick trip to Stockholm would be no problem, little did I know…

Arriving at Arlanda airport on the Sunday night. The air was “fresh” and “clear” for you Swedes out there, it was frippin’ freezing! But there was no snow! I realize living in mallorca for almost 8 years have made me a bit more soft and sensitive to cold things, but even the proper Swedes that picked me up were complaining about the cold!

The gala came and went. Peder Fredricson won the Jerringprize for a second year running. That’s the only prize where the Swedish public decides their yearly hero. Riding, even though it’s the second largest sport in Sweden, have very little paper space and TV time, hence the Swedish public, that are not involved in horse sport, cannot believe a European champion can beat a 7 world champion and several world records swimmer.

It’s quite tiresome to educate said ignorant Swedes that horse sport has only 1 world championship every 4 years, and for them to understand how great an achievement winning a European gold on home ground is, any way said Swede Peder proved for the second time that horse sport has a lot of horse power!

Come Tuesday I managed to celebrate 2 cousins who’s birthdays it was. First with a breakfast at stockholm central train station and secondly lunch at Edsbacka bistro in Sollentuna. I then had my taxi booked to Arlanda airport where a quick transfer flight should have taken me via Oslo to Palma. Then it started to snow.

It’s sometimes strange how within a 20 minutes time frame one can go from a little bit windy to outrageous stormy weather, then add the snow and you couldn’t see more than 10 meters in front of you. My taxi driver was driving super slow but we managed to get to the airport in time… the airplane had other plans for me.

After change of gate 3 times, a delay due to the weather and a new crew coming to fly us, I realized it would be tight to manage flying out of Oslo. I checked the flights out of Oslo and most of them were delayed by a couple of hours or cancelled. By this time I had already waited for so long for the flight that I wondered if I should get on the flight… as there were no direct flights to palma the following day.

The air hostess on the Norwegian flight said we would probably get there in time for the Palma flight as all flight out of Oslo were delayed, I decided to get on the flight and we taxied our on the runway. There we stopped. We were told we had missed our time slot. We would be sat on the runway for another 1 1/2 hour. As we landed in Oslo, I picked up my things and went careering through the terminals of Oslo airport, as it didn’t say if my flight had left yet and there was nobody to ask. I ended up close to having a heart attack but finally realized my plane had left without me… I was stuck in Oslo.

Due to how I had booked my ticket, the airline cut me off, they didn’t see themselves as responsible for this snowy palaver. Thanks to my husband I managed to get a hotel room a “roughly 10 minutes away” from the airport. Turned out to be a 40 minutes over 1000 Norwegian crowns taxi journey there but at least I had a bed.

Also thanks to my husband I managed to get re-routed with Ryan air for the following day. A morning flight to London Stanstead and an afternoon flight to Palma. Never in my wildest nightmares was I prepared for what was about to happen.

I was up early and this time walked from the hotel (that I would never have found on my own) through a very snowy place called Lilleström. After a couple of semi right snowy turns and ice skating across some trafficked roads I ended up at the train station. From there the train was almost pleasant compared to the slippery roads. I was already checked in to both new flights and I was ready for another day in transit. Or so I thought… after a few hours waiting to board the flight to London I find out on my flight stats app that it’s been cancelled. I ask the people at he gate but they deny any knowledge of this “cancellation”. I will not bore you with the hours of frustrating wait not the bus transfer we finally found ourselves on to take us to another airport in Norway. It was called Torp. Google it. After being there, there is a new meaning to “the end of the world as we know it”. 2 hours of bus transfer through a snowy winter landscape. Followed by an extra 3 hours wait in a terminal without a cafeteria.

8 hours delayed we finally landed in Stanstead. Me and everybody else that were transferring to other flights had missed our connecting flights. Stanstead was going to become my second night stopover.

Come Thursday afternoon. I had been given a boarding card for the slightly over full flight of FR1913. On my boarding card, Ryan air went all vintage on me, no seat number! So I was queueing up, in the no priority queue, with only a 0 next to where my seat number was supposed to be. When I realized I was already too tired from all the traveling, hotels and lack of food during this hell week, and all of it on top of my already super seriously painful chest, I was on my very last straw.

I was thinking about the humor in the story of me. The unbeatable amount of bad luck, clumsiness and every time I try to plan or arrange anything for my future, it just quickly and sharply goes to pots. I live in fear of ever putting anything in writing, any wishful or slightly planning thinking that like the worst of any black comedy seams to turn on me.

I will get the full report next Friday. Then I will have the results of the MRI and by then I will know more about how little I’m allowed to do. I have tried to research online what exercise one can do with a broken sternum. Turns out, no much, or to make it easier for me to understand, nothing! I’m not allowed to lift, turn, swim, lie on my front or side, run or ride. How I will stay human? Well possibly I never was, one can only hope!

Keep smiling 🙂 even though it hurts, it’s never as painful as taking yourself too seriously!

Happy new year to all of you!

I decided to leave 2017 pretty much the same way I started it. With pain. A whole lot of undiluted fresh, flesh crumbling pain. From where you might ask? From another fall, I might answer. But this time not a horse or a snowy mountain was within sight. I give you the Beach party at out Caribbean holiday resort.

After a long and hard year we decided to get some sun and relaxation away from it all. My brother and his wife and daughter were going to the same place. At the all inclusive resort they celebrated every Friday with a beach party. The celebrations and reggae music soon got me up on stage! As sadly my elimination from the dance competition soon was eminent, I came off the stage. As I made my way back around a tree to sit down at our table, I’m not sure how it happened, but my foot found one of the trees roots. I was catapulted through the air. I flew quite high. I must have been going quite fast, probably from the disgust of my elimination as reggae queen, I can remember in air thinking whilst seeing my husbands shocked face, oh oh, not again!

My breastbone crashed first into the solid bench edge as I landed on a particularly nasty hard place. The air was knocked out of me, I couldn’t breathe. There is no way how I can describe the pain.

It felt like Bella was being ripped straight off me. Bella being my remodeled breast, constructed by my own fibers and stomach fat. I could feel the ripping of the muscles holding her in place. In other places of my body it hurt as well. Basically as luck would have it, every part that previously did not have an ailment or a soreness was now either bloody or painful, or both.

I felt so stupid. How come I just even all by my self seam to try and do my best to really fuck up any chance of getting back to “normal life” again. As luck had it I did not break anything. My sternum is a hob of pain. I cannot sit or lie down without it hurting. The pain first started to go away, but now it’s been 11 days since accident and the pain intensifies and does not seam to want to go away.

I had it scanned with ultra sound yesterday and the doctor could see the muscular damage, he said there are fatty deposits that can be left behind after a trauma, I cannot remember what he called them, but I’m sure it was something like “golden….” why on earth would you call a fatty, cyst like lump something positive? It doesn’t make sense. And it still doesn’t make me want one just because they have a pretty name.

I was on way back from holiday on route to see my oncologist in London as well as my surgeon. They were the best two people to speak to regarding my accidental prone self and what to do with me.

I was supposed to go for a showjumping clinic this weekend. Sadly Dr Jones thought I shouldn’t try and jump for a while, until I was pain free, as the pain could make me ride differently, to protect myself. Wise lady, that doctor… the surgeon said as there was too much previous trauma to my sternum, he couldn’t recommend an MRI until later on, if the pain intensifies or doesn’t go away…

So for all of you out there. A question: Have you any previous experience of sternum trauma? Is this how it gets? So painful that you believe you are dying… I am normally such a tough cookie, but this fall has ended up being one of the most painful ones I have ever had. It’s probably age related… well at least I’m still getting older!

Anyway I made it back home! I did not use the wheelchair happy helpers at the airport. I managed to walk all by self, although carrying heavy stuff is a bit of a bother.

Keep smiling 🙂 if you are not a born reggae star, fake it!!!!http://www.emeliemarsh.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/img_0518.mov

I’m so sorry to keep you all in the dark for so long yet again! Well if I do it again it’s only because I’m busy living my life and doing things that might seam ordinary to some, but to me becomes the vital beacon of recovery!

Status on knee: I’m back riding now, between 3-8horses per day. Knee feels ok. Had a stupid incident where I stepped backwards and twisted my knee a little. Got Some pain at the back of the knee and was told by my strict PT Flor that I wasn’t allowed to train on machines without her and by my even stricter physio Nerea, that I shouldn’t do any lower body workout, running or dancing… riding was not disallowed! I got some tape to tape knee with and some exercises for the upper body.

Now we are in the UK! Celebrated first Swedish Christmas yesterday on the 24/12 and English Christmas today. I have managed to do some HIIT training that doesn’t involve too much legs and hope this will keep the kilos from sticking on my happily celebrated frame.

The day after boxing day we are going away to the sun! As I have promised a lot of people I won’t ski badly for a while longer, we have decided on going for a holiday in the sun. I’m not sure I will survive doing nothing for 10 days, but here goes trying!

Keep smiling! 🙂 a new year brings plenty of new opportunities!

And no it’s not what you think it is… not going to go on and on about my illness, disease or other hardship. This is a story of true love. And it begun in the summer of 2012.

I was sent a video on YouTube. It was from a friends brother who had bred some horses and needed to sell some of them. One of them, a filly by Diarado-Balou de Rouet caught my eye. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Moved like a tiger and even though it was only 1 year old jumped like a true star. I fell in love!

At the time the seller wanted quite a lot of money for her, understandably, but I couldn’t really fit such a young mare into my company, I was thinking about it, but felt it was safer to leave her for now.

Time went as time do. What happened in my case was that I had an accident, had a couple of brain hemorrhages, went in to a coma for a month, a couple of epileptic fits… and then lo and behold… I woke up!

What was one of the first things I thought about from waking up and realizing I had been in a coma and out of touch with the world for such a long time? The well being of my children? The state of the world? The mental health of those who were close to me? Well partly all of those but one thought that kept on creeping up and knocking on my conscience was that 1 year old mare… the one with the karma of a fierce brave soul… with the outstanding technique… there she was, at the forefront of my battered brain. I knew then I had to try and buy her.

When I called my friend up from hospital, I’m sure I nearly killed him by asking him about his brothers horse. He was in Sweden, awaiting news of my survival, or not… then comes a phone call from me asking to do business with his brother… I can believe that might have been a bit of a strange scenario to find yourself in… Anyway said mare was still available, and I think thanks to my circumstances I managed to get her for a fair price, and put her with other youngsters in a field to grow up.

I went to Sweden to see the mare only once during her growing up and realized she was maybe a bit on the small side. As I was back riding, but not really back to breaking young horses, she was sent to another of my friends. She was due to do the 4 and 5 year old classes but they instead found that she had a loose bone chip that we had to remove.

Rehab was lengthy and the mare didn’t get back to doing shows properly until she was 6. But by then my friend said she was one of a kind. I saw the videos to prove it and couldn’t wait to get my rider in England to enjoy her! She still hasn’t grown. But to make up for it she has the most enormous canter, so not hard to jump a big fence for her.

Come this autumn of 2017. I’m back riding, back jumping. Thinking of what to do next. I have horses spread out a little bit too much for my liking, and had decided on getting a bit more organized and sorted. So yesterday I flew over from Spain. And for the first time, although I have owned her for 5 years, I sat on Dilba. It was pure magic! From every stride that she took we became more and more a unit. To me she would be one of the nicest horses I have ever sat on!

She will now await coming over to Mallorca to live a warmer life!

Thank you John Hickey, Eamon Hickey, Jenny Andersson and Julie Andrews to all be part of the Dilba story! This is just the beginning!

Keep smiling 🙂 some stories are worth waiting for ❤️

I have to be very careful with my knee…. or at least very careful of what I write about how careful I am with said knee.

September came and went, and with that I could also start back riding again! It was awesome! It’s like my body is made to sit on a horse. For hours on end, I have no problem, the knee stays flexible and no soreness!

Then October came. For the last 5 years the beginning of this month and especially the 3/10, always lie as a dark shadow over the family. I feel the thoughts of the what if’s and the why’s of every year when I think about the first accident is keeping me in some kind of limbo.

Now instead, I started back jumping on my horses on the 3/10 and I jumped all of my horses properly on the 4/10! It felt amazing. Even though I’m a little over weight from the 9 months of rehab otherwise it was great! The best thing out of all of that is that until today’s date, 5/10 I have not given the 3/10 a thought! Not one!!! I have lived my life, got on with doing what I do without reflecting back on times before. It doesn’t even feel the slightest weird. It’s like I’m allowed to live again, without the accident cloud tarnishing everything I do.

September brought a lot of figs to the farm! We are blessed with 15 of these gorgeous sweet treat trees. We have now had figs for 5 weeks!!! Unbelievable!

When will I be back jumping at shows? Good question! The feisty competitive me says SOON!!! The slightly conservative placid me thinks November, or maybe even next year!

Keep smiling 🙂 a world without figtrees to climb would be a lot more boring and less sweet!