Today tuesday.

First night spent on my own since accident. Felt OK but just can’t remember if I took my medicine last night or not, always easier when you have someone to remind you.

Today lie in. First lesson with Ergo therapy not until 9am.

Angelina (therapist) led me to the kitchen. There were lots of things to bake with. She said -Today we are making bread.

I got to measure up all ingredients. Then mixing them all together and kneading the dough. It was hard work for the little leftie! Then we left it to breathe a little as I went on my other lesson.

10.30am Physio therapy. Long walk to the gym followed by a ride on the blue plastic wonder horse again. It was so much easier this time! I could do all sorts of tricks on it and kept my balance most of the time.

I got very tired afterwards. It’s like this huge explosion of energy just leaves my body all at once and I could fall asleep just sitting down.

I had gluten and lactose free lunch served.

Another sleep. Dan called whilst I was sleeping. Oh dear I can’t remember what we spoke about. Hm, might need scan on brain again to make sure it’s fine.

Left side today felt some pain. Marlene said thats good. Pain is often the first thing you get to feel when you are getting your feeling back. Angelina said as long as the pain is not too sharp. I think the pain I felt was a bit duller. More a slow ache rather than an explosive knife edge. I will be able to update you tomorrow.

14.20 Physio therapy in gym again. I warned up on the bike again then I got walking on a wave-board. My legs already feeling the jelly-ness after the bike was shaking like mad. It got better when I bent my legs. I walked up and down the board probably 50 times before I was let lose on my new toy! I have had the wheelchair taken from me and have been given a walkies with wheels. Sorry don’t know what they are called in english. Here they are called Rullator. Mine is called Ideal. Now I can walk around pushing  my way forward and be noticed! I think I might miss the wheelchair but Ideal has got a few secrets like a sittable seat for example!

3pm I finished baking with Angelina the Ergo therapist. We did a german Sunday bread that looks like a plait. In the end after all the kneading and plaiting of the dough I got to paint it all with the yolk of an egg all left-handed!

Now I am waiting for my new company to arrive. They must have just landed at Zurich! it’s my lovely sister and I hope she can stay here for a few days! Hourrah!

I was speaking earlier to one of my therapists and about this bubble that I still feel that I’m in. It’s like both body and soul are trapped in this plastic bubble so my feelings are less. Both on the left side of the body but also with all my feelings. it’s like I’m on some really mind numbing medicine. It’s not that I can’t feel anything. I just don’t feel anything that takes energy from me. It’s so weird. Like my mind has cut off any emotional suffrage to save the bits that are left of me.

Yesterday I had some really bad news. About a horse in Mallorca. She had to have an operation yesterday and I was upset as we won’t know the outcome of the op until 20 days. If it didn’t work we will have to put her down and yes even though this is painful information and I would normally get more involved, feeling more. Now it’s just another problem that needs solving. No or little emotion. Maybe thats what I have become, an ice queen?

Does anyone know how I can add a photo here on wordpress? I will add one of the bread I baked when I get the know how.

Keep smiling! I’m walking!

Heaven! Kids are here! And a very sore and sick husband.

Day started around 2am when Myrna decided her bed was too lonely. I then had small child and her fluffy toys move in with me.

Breakfast was a whole different story with children involved. I had planned on going to gym afterwards but I was so tired I went straight back to bed.

Myrna offered to bring me in my “wheel barrow”. Great! Now I feel like a real vegetable and all.

After my morning snooze we braved the hot pools of Bad Shinznach. They opened in 1651 so they are pretty special!

They have between 5-6 pools but we went in the biggest one.

You start indoors and then you swim under or through a plastic cover to get outside.

There are plenty of bubbles to be had. Sprinkles to stand under and a whole 68 meters fast stream you can get carried around by.

Dan and Myrna even tried an indoor cave slide with water and lighting. It scared Myrna and also Dan. Not somewhere to bring children under the age of 8 or 9 years.

I then got really tired again. Children and hot water taking my energy but at lunch we went to a close by airfield where they have a good restaurant and playing field with swings and seesaw for Myrna and Mel. We saw lots of planes landing and taking off. Beautiful setting and high entertainment value!

As it’ Sunday today I had no therapy. I also listened to Susanne from yesterday who said one day a week it’s good to relax the whole body and do no muscle training. Yesterday I felt fine and ignored listening to her, today I feel tired and I am so listening to the wise words…

Tomorrow I have a long day with several treatments the last being a water gymnastics. I will show her my skills! I can almost float and in the water I don’t feel as handicapped. (Although my stamina is way down on what I used to handle).

I think the biggest thing to overcome is my previous conception of myself. What am I? Who and what have I become? How has this accident changed me? I still feel like I am in a plastic bubble. Half protecting me and half hiding the truth.

Now Dan is feeling worse so I will take girls down on my own. We will see how that goes. Tomorrow I’ll tell you all.

Good night and keep smiling.xx

So I thought with my new life weekends should make more difference. Today it’s Saturday and Mercedes is going home (very sad as she has been an inspiration to be around) and guess who is coming tonight? Dan and Myrna and Melonie!! Millie and Niknak had to stay at home as the hotel is full of guests.

This morning Mercedes and I started with breakfast followed by 30 min in the gym. This is without therapists just ourselves wanting to sweat it all out.

I started on 10 min bike level8. 60-70 rpm and no arms as it made my left arm a bit funny last time.

This was followed by some fit ball work forward/backwards side ways and hula hoops. I could definitely feel it in my stomach muscles afterwards.

I then went on the leg press. 60kg for 2 legs pressing down 22 times I then lowered the weight to 50kg and did 20 repetition on both legs as singles!

My legs were shaking and just getting myself back across the gym to sit on my fit ball again took a lot of effort. Not so much more work was needed and I have never been so glad to see my wheelchair again to take me back to my room.

Mercedes packed and left. I was again left to my own devices, could never be a good thing.

My brain is working at super power sometimes. It used to before the accident as well but I could compensate by being a fast person as well. Now when my brain is racing my body just feels dull.

I went for lunch on my own and spoke to some of my next table guests. You always have the same table for lunch and dinner so you tend to know the culinary preferences of your fellow patients that sit close to you. Mr Texas who also sleeps in the room next to mine (neighbour) always has meat and potato. The french looking man that sits with him who is a fellow patient that has chosen to sit together rather than alone always have a lot of vegetables. I saw on the numberplate on his wheelchair that he lives on the second floor.

Today I am really challenging my walking and in the restaurant it’s a very good way of showing of your moves. A lot of people that have seen you ever day since you arrived and they are so impressed they shout out a little cheer when  you pass them. Oh the heart grows warmer and a little bigger!

2.50pm Physio theraphy with Susanne. She is new to me as it’s weekend training. First we do some walk training and then head for the stairs. I go up and down holding on to one rail but otherwise unaided.

Then she really gets into it. Lets me stand on one step with one leg, then step up the other one several times.

To step up foot to second step in a straight line and step up sideways without holding on to anything. Then she showed me an arm exercise sitting down. Hard!

She finished off walking me back to my room and in my room she found more training to do! Stepping up one leg on a step only then to flex your hips right and left.

Oh dear I just talked to Dan. They are still coming but he has now got a throat infection. When will all this bad luck ever end? 2012 year of energies. My left hand has started to protest a little now. I just don’t know if I should see it as a positive -Ah my left hand and arm CAN feel! or as a negative -Oh dear I have over done it.

I will not comment on the video chosen by Mercedes yesterday. Can’t remember it’s name but after47 minutes and we were still waiting for it to start being funny (never happened) or us getting it (neither happened) so we saw the first one of a TV series called Once upon a time. It was pretty good but Mercedes having read by blog from yesterday was fast forwarding as soon as there was childbirth or fighting. (bless her) I now want to find the next in the series so I can see all of it!

I am missing my horses and today is the first time I am thinking about riding again.

I wonder if that will happen?

I am sure this place with all therapy will get me back to a fit state again body wise. It’s just the brain we have to work with now…

So yesterday night after our 5.30pm dinner I was getting a special treat, a movie night!

Mercedes has arrived!

With 5kg of chocolate and candy! (As I lost almost 11kg in the accident and recovery it is OK!)

This morning we were the youngest couple on the breakfast. Mercedes kept speaking Spanish to the waiters and cleaning crew. They probably were very surprised as they all know me as “the English” lady.

We got an update about last nights football. I am so NOT “English”at the moment. I’m Swedish!!!! Zlatan scored 4 times!!! Sweden 4- England 2

8.30am Ergoterapie with Angelina. First standing up push ups against the door. Then lots of lifts with arms and shoulders. `finishing off with 2 golfballs in one hand. Make the golfballs turn around each other. OK, sounds easy enough, but when you actually try and do it, not so easy any more. In the end Angelina lent me the balls so I can practise in my room….

9.15 Physio theraphy with Ennio. I was walking and training in stairs. In the end I was walking up and down a proper set of stairs! We finished the lesson by making a lot of sound when you walk. (Banging your feet like children are not allowed!) Then we were walking rolling our feets forward finishing off rolling the feet backwards (moonwalking).

Ennio really is a good physio but as a moon walker/dancer I’m not too sure…

Lunch was enjoyed at 12.30

13:25 Ennio in the gym. They have a real gym here. With gym stuff in and everything. I first went on a bike. I have to pedal really quick. Between 60-70rpm. I look really strange. I then got on the leg press. The weight put on for 2 legs was 60kg or 50kg when you did one leg.

Remembering being on one of them at Mega gym earlier this year. A bit more weight on then…

Then up for a power nap. Mercedes went down to book herself in for treatments at the spa.

15.00 An hour with the psychologist. She informed me about everybody’s input in the weekly talk to the doctor about my progress. Apparently I am doing just fine! Good progress on all physios reports!

During this hour Mercedes went to have a swim in the hot spa. She got changed in the spa area using the green special bracelet key to lock the changing room locker. They are all with numbers on but Mercedes forgot to check hers.

After her awesome swim she repeated what Dan did a few days ago. She got a bit lost. First she ended up in the machine room. Then she ended up in the guards room. When she got back in to the changing area she was completely confused and she tried to open any locker with her green bracelet/key. All her clothes, shoes and key to our rooms were locked in the locker. The question was just: What locker?

She eventually found a separate changing room for hotel guests where she to the Swiss staffs delight found her locker! She made it safely back to pick me up from therapy on time, only my therapist was doing lots of talking and evaluating and overrun for 10 min! `how un Swiss! My Ergo  therapy had to be moved until tomorrow morning.

All is well. Left side improving and Mercedes that only one week ago came to see me at Juaneda can’t believe the change already!

Oh my God! Dan is gone! He has gone to England today and I have now 4 1/2 hrs by my self before Mercedes Lopez turnes up to become my new “carer”!

Today:

8.30am work on fit ball. I was sitting on a fit ball with my feet forward then using my seat either forward/backward or sideways. This sounds very straight forward but it made my entire body shake.

9am Ergotherapie with Angelina, she had the test ready for me again from Monday but after she saw how much I was shaking she decided to wait until this afternoon to see if my left side is up for it or not.

I was thinking of putting photos of me doing some of the training here, but following the 10:45am therapy I decided it probably wouldn’t be such a great thing. I do everything with very little control or no control. If I was posting a video or photo of anyone else with my disability I would probably be sued or something similar so I wait until I can control more! During this 30 min it was floor work mostly. On all 4. Or getting up. Turning around. Go on my back. Lie on my stomach. Then stand up again. New trainer called Ennio. Think I need to walk more. Think he needs to read my file…

Came back for a lie down before lunch and then discussed with Dan everything thats happening in the next few days.

Got news on facebook that Canora had won a 140 yesterday! Well done Alexander Zetterman!

After lunch my test was awaiting me.

The tiny lego like sticks to be put in and taken out of holes on a timed limit.

Thee therapist asked me if I was too tired. I checked my hands and said… -No they look fine to go.

I fist had to do a “power of hans” test where right hand scored 18kg and the left hand scored a 4kg… not sure what it means as I cannot lift anything close to 4 kg but it probably just is a measure of some kind.

I then got to do the test. Its called an NHPT here if you want to look it up. I started with my left hand. Miracle! This time the hand could place the little white sticks in the holes! It could also remove them all. The time completed was 49 seconds! The right hand that on monday had scored an impressive 27 seconds, now went again and scored a mighty 20 seconds flat! I was so happy! Nothing else mattered!

After my session Dan picked me up before he left for the airport. I then got to wheel myself all the way back to room 109. Working the wheels of the wheelchair all by myself. Left hand has some issues….

Now waiting for Mercedes to get here!

So to finish off todays update a story sent to me from my lovely husband who had got it from Carole Allen

11 PEOPLE … ON A ROPE  Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, Because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren’t able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping . . .. . . .  PLEASE SEND THIS MAIL TO ALL INTELLIGENT WOMEN, Have a great evening!!!!

So I didn’t really get into what i had to do yesterday in my physical training… it was hard… actually doing anything at the moment is hard but they worked me until it felt like my arms and legs were going to fall off.

I did one test where you had to put small plastic lego sticks in holes and then take them out again. It took 27 second with my right hand. With the left it took over 15 seconds to prove to them I could not even do 1. I will practise every day now so hopefully I can do it next week.

My other training focused on how quick I could manage to walk in 2 min. Without any help from sticks/wheels/studs etc. I managed about 76 m

Yesterday I fell asleep around 8.30pm and woke up at 4.05am (as usual) then I was up at 6am this morning.

Training today started with an hour with a new trainer. I hoped for a massage but realised I was only getting my brain “massaged”. The newest “trainer” was a psychiatrist. My brain was in for an hour of “prodding”. Hard work as well.

Then I had 2 sessions before lunch with my physios. On one I focused on stepping up one leg on a block without falling or falling out to any side. On the other we focused on grip and shoulder strength. I worked with a weight in my left arm! Don’t get too excited weight was less than a toothbrush but it was still hard.

Lunch was early. Around 12. All 4 courses of gluten and lactose free goodness!

Then I had a break! This is where Roger Swain set up this blog for me, and I started to slowly tap in this story. I have promised to work my left hand as much as possible so I am typing with it all the time. (hope it will be worth it in the end)

Afternoon gave me another 2 sessions of walking and playing with balls with my left hand.

Both the trainers were amazed by the strength i showed compared to yesterday.

I learnt how to stand up and sit down with more weight on my left.

Its amazing how much you need to know just to make a simple thing like standing up. There are techniques for everything!!! Leaning forward for example!

Todays highlight was during one of our walks outside we saw the spa swimming pool and the golf driving range. 3 snow flakes fell from the sky!

We had an early dinner at 5.30pm…. still 4 courses of gluten and lactose freeness

Lots of love from a girl now typing with her left hand.

So we arrived here on a sunday. Only to have an early meeting with the doctor Monday morning. 8am…..

The first thing we did was accidentally stealing our neighbours wheelchair. (Dan thought they were communal) This of course would have upset the habitant of room 101 no end…

After the meeting with the doctor (all went ok) I was sent to the first of 4 appointments with physio.

The problem was she was going to interview me about my accident etc, but she spoke no English…

Solving the problem by changing person to do interview it all started to go better. Until they found the missing wheelchair outside my treatment room and we had a visit from a very angry head of wheelchairs…. When she realised I spoke no german and had very little movement on my left side she calmed down and thought she could make something useful of the situation.

She came back 10 min later with a new wheelchair. This time having  our room number on a sign on it…..

After almost 4 weeks I was transferred here. To Juaneda.

This is the hospital where we normally take our kids so I know it.

I also know Natalia that works at A&E and Karin that works as a swedish interpreter.

I got room 225 on second floor.

Danny came over.

Johanna made my wall full of photos of family members.

Mercedes came and stayed.

I was told I would never use my left arm again. At this stage it was just idly following me around so what should I think?

I got Neus as a new physio. She made me believe I could use left again and 10 days ago she made me move my left arm.

Today I am still struggling to move and control left side,thats why i am here in Switzerland.

I will be here 3 weeks and the blog is a document about my progress (hopefully)

I left Juaneda on the 9th of November I flew here on the 11 November.

I am in Bad-Schinznach outside Zurich.

For 3 weeks I was in a coma in the emergency critical ward at Son Espases. I don’t have much memory from here when i finally came out of my coma I have some memories from intensive care but we realised when you were not on your way to pass over neither good enough to move your left side Son Espases hospital was just not good any more.

They had been very good when i was in a coma but the re-hab work was just un-interested.

My mum came in every day to sing with me and for me. My short term memory was shot.

I still have very little use of my left side so one day when i can write more i will about my time here, The coma even though terrifying for everybody else was an eye opener for me.