So today another Saturday, but it all started a little too early for me at 2am.
Millie woke up, and there was no sign of Nicola who had been out earlier with Frida in Palma. Millie had thrown up all over herself and her cot. Dan braved her majesty by himself for 20min and then came in and asked me to help out as she was angry, awake and in no mood to take her medicines.
After an hour up we had assembled her travel cot and put her in it. When she finally gave in for sleep, child number 2 entered the room. Myrna and she was soon followed by Mel. Oh dear we also received an sms regarding Nicola and a problem with her hip that had made it necessary to go to hospital. When we called her and Fridas mobiles no one picked up so amongst stirring children and crying babies there was obviously some worries for lovely Niknak.
In the morning when it finally arrived, I was more than tired. But it felt like a real tiredness. From yesterdays gym visit (oh yeah!) and riding Lucky! So my motor system could not wake up at all. A turn over in the bed made the room spinning (great as I’m not allowed on any fun rides for a while) and a large continuous sleep without children as they went downstairs with their loving father!
So today has been a little bit of a blur. I can say it’s been windy. No exaggeration. I have never heard wind like that before. Very scary. I went downstairs at 10 for breakfast. Was setting myself up for a very slow day as I lost my balance every time I put my head in a new position. I cancelled all lessons and my own riding as the wind kept blowing. I was trying to see what god I could do, training wise there was not that much I could do. Some passing of balls and the new eye exercises… oh so hard! And who knew they would get that much harder by either singing or balancing on one leg… Oh the mysteries of the human body! You just don’t appreciate how much you just do when you do something. Now I have to concentrate and focus even for the most amateur move. I’m not impressed.
The only time I feel like before the accident is when I am on top of a horse. Probably shouldn’t say this but when I rode Lucky yesterday I was doing all sorts of exercises on her to improve my balance. I even trotted a few steps! But all down to safety first and after half a lap I decided it was enough trot! After I had ridden and given a lesson I ignored the tiredness creeping in and decided to go to the gym first time.
I had to go to the gym guys all pumped up to an millimetre of perfection and show them my un-syncronized self and tell them my story of four hellish months. The problem when you see people for the first time, they always get so impressed on “how quickly” my recovery has been and “how far” I have come back. I don’t tell them right back “how would you know? you didn’t know me before”. `But this is what goes on in my brain. My slow working, but still working brain.
When I try to explain to people things I now get wrong or forget, the constant answer back is “oh, don’t worry about that! It happens to me all the time!” So then I think a. you are only saying that to make me feel better or b. if you mean this why on earth are we friends? As I know the old me would be far more switched on than the new me. And the old me would not have had enough time to spend with half baked imbeciles. A few things I have had confirmed by the way are things I have not been wrong about. I have realised my memory even though it seams weak at times is pretty good other times. A saying in Sweden that was used by our old neighbour for example. The way I remembered it was correct and even though I can’t remember who doubted me at the time, they will remember the saying:
“I’d rather eat well my self, than seeing my children starve” “Jag äter hellre bra själv än se mina barn svälta” So there you go! Thats the saying!
On other parts I’m delusional. I can’t get the day right. I forget things like my phone, hand bag, keys, like never before. I can’t taste things. I used to compensate by over indulging in candy and sweets but now I have been sweet free for almost 2 weeks! I have lost almost 3 kg, but think they were mostly fat kilos. It’s a real shame my tastebuds aren’t working as I now don’t enjoy eating at all. But maybe the herbal tabs I have been taking to help my body take out the amalgam is making my taste buds weaker. My cousin told me this and Monday is the final day so then we will see.
Canora (mums horse she bought from me) won at Wellington show yesterday!! With over 3.5seconds! Alexander Zetterman is the rider now, but Julie Andrews that brought her on for me when I owned her should be very proud!
Trying to watch Silent Witness now. Very hardcore. I know good will win in the end, but it looks bleak right now.
Keep Smiling 🙂 Even though it looks bleak from time to time life is a place where you get to keep learning. Maybe when you have learnt enough, your brain percentage has to be culled a bit or other people to catch up. What do I know? I’m only a show jumper and horse trainer that now also talks to injured animals.