Wednesday

So as you all know about being at home.

You know how long it should take to do things. Put on clothes, brush teeth, go to the loo, move from one room to the next. Times everything about 10-20 times and you will be where I am.

It used to be amazing just being able to get dressed on my own, now comes frustration.

All the people that are happy I am back might now instead be annoyed I am back but such a different person. Well I’m annoyed anyway. Ok one part of me or two parts are of course joyfully happy I’m alive and at home. But other parts of me don’t see the reason why this happened to me and why now?

I have not written about other things going on in my life as I felt it being almost too much dark dramatic story. Well it is. And it’s my dark dramatic story. The day I was released from hospital in Mallorca Lars passed away. My mothers boyfriend and her saviour. He is the first man that made her laugh again after my dad died and she and him were just on their way to start a new chapter together. Moving in to a house in Sweden together.

The irony is never lost on me. It was 2 days after the truck left with all their belongings from England, the night before the fly out to Sweden. He died the day I was supposed to go to Switzerland, but luckily we had already changed the fly out date.

My mother is so devastated. She feels like she has lost another soulmate. I don’t feel much in my protective plastic bubble but I can feel her pain. And I too miss Lars. He was a sound man with an awake mind. He is still alive in my head.

So I will tell you a story from my American healer. She saw my left side being numb. She could see where it was coming from in the brain. She also found a “Heidelberg” and wondered where it came from. My cousin that came down and stayed with me twice in Bad Schinznach lives in Heidelberg. What a weird coincidence! She said cousin had left some energy in left side and she would try to remove it as it was the wrong kind of energy, full of love but still not right for me.

When asked about my accident the healer said she saw no epilepsy attack prior to my fall. It was also earlier on the day than I thought. Apparently Harry was the first or second horse I was riding that day. The healer said outside energy took away my awareness. I will go further into this when I contact her next time.

So for the other big story when I was in my coma. I can’t remember anything from the hospital when I was in there but I have clear memory of me and my dad meeting up and discussing the family every day. I remember being flown through the sky to a stone wall, (I think it’s by Bellevere castle) and there we sat talking about everyone and everything for 30 days. It took me 2 full days after I had woken up from my coma to understand my dad has been dead almost 6 years.

i think dad was my guardian angel. I think I am happy to have him!

All the other memories from the first hospital are vague or don’t exist where as the memories from the time with my dad are still super clear.

So todays morning physio was complaining that I was already tired when she got here 8.30am. She has planned a lie in for me tomorrow so won’t start physio until 10am!

Last night Myrna was in a hugging mode. At 2am she came into my bedroom and wanted hugs. At 3.30am she wanted to give Niknak some hugs too. Nicola got the wrong end of the hugs and thought it was morning so she got up and got dressed. Waking up Millie in the process. When all the damage was done and Millie didn’t want to go back to sleep any more, Myrna came back in to my bedroom to give me more hugs again. This went on until 7am when we all got ready to actually get up and wake up Mel, who sleeps like an angel!

At this time there are more sadness to slalom through in my plastic bubble of calm. Dan’s dad is rapidly getting worse and I get reports from Dan who is in England on a daily basis. Dan wanted to come back to Mallorca and spend Christmas with the children and me but now I think he is rethinking that.

It’s a tough call. We will miss him of course but England might not survive without him there for Christmas. And I am tough even though I am still only 30% body and 75% mind. Although I have sorted out the wireless network problem we had before! So I am thinking my brain power might be coming back. Although I have looked at some code for programming and both Java and C: are gone. They are the languages I have lost in this accident! Luckily it wasn’t English or Spanish that went!

This lunchtime I spent with a friend of mine in Santa Ponca. I saw her new house and we had sushi. Special treat! Then I came back home for a special yoga session. I had my 2 friends that are yogis come over and involve themselves in my yoga program. It was awesome! Better than I had ever thought. They practice 2 different styles of YOGA. Sandra does Vinyasa and Linda does Kundalini yoga. So different and yet together I thought I could really take the best of them. I was surprised I could do downward dog without any spinning head! So now I’ll do some yoga every day as it won’t upset anything!

So in short I am making progress. Dan is still away. Mum has sad days and better days. I’m still in my protective bubble and I will keep it on as I cope so much better with all pressures with it on. Millie has been selected as next years Libero baby in Sweden. She will be on the number 4 of Libero diapers! She looks a little bit ginger on the photo but I think they must have altered it a little.

Keep Smiling 🙂 There are a few slalom gates to get through but I will yoga my way threw it clad in my lightly pink plastic bubble.

3 thoughts on “Wednesday

  1. Hej vännen,

    En lång Kina resa och en galen jobbvecka senare så blev jag jätteglad över upptäckten att du bloggar vidare från hemmaplan 🙂
    Även vid 18% så är du outstanding, jag önskar att jag hade hälften av ditt driv, då skulle jag va Supermumlovergirlfriendhusrenoverarebusinesswoman!,, är övertygad om att du kommer att övervinna dom resterande 82% med blod svett tårar och ren envishet men inget sker över en natt, bara att du är hemma, med tjejerna, hundarna, hästarna, man å mamma och har en vardag igen även om den är lite annorlunda var den bästa nyhet jag fått på sistonde :-)…

    Tänker på dig <3
    Gonatt kram..

  2. Hej vännen,

    En lång Kina resa och en galen jobbvecka senare så blev jag jätteglad över upptäckten att du bloggar vidare från hemmaplan 🙂
    Även vid 18% så är du outstanding, jag önskar att jag hade hälften av ditt driv, då skulle jag va Supermumlovergirlfriendhusrenoverarebusinesswoman!,, är övertygad om att du kommer att övervinna dom resterande 82% med blod svett tårar och ren envishet men inget sker över en natt, bara att du är hemma, med tjejerna, hundarna, hästarna, man å mamma och har en vardag igen även om den är lite annorlunda var den bästa nyhet jag fått på sistonde :-)…

    Tänker på dig <3
    Gonatt kram..

  3. Hej Emelie!

    Fick adressen till din blogg av din underbara mamma och läser med tårfyllda ögon. Tack för allt det fina du skriver om min pappa! Saknaden är allt för stor.

    Vi har fått följa din resa via telefon och är så glada att du börjar må bättre – all styrka till dig, fortsätt att kämpa på.

    Jag vet att vi aldrig har träffats men min pappa talade så varmt om dig. Tänkte att du ville veta det. Han var verkligen lycklig med Eva och er alla. Fan jävla sikt, får man skriva så?

    Ta hand om dig och fortsätt må bättre. Ta hand om din mamma och ge henne en bamsekram från mig.

    Stor kram från Anna, Lasses äldsta dotter.

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