Valdoxan

Hi there
I’m back from weeks of no publishing. I lie in wait of inspirational spurts that just seam to have abandoned me. Ah never mind. Writers call it writers block I just call it blocked brain.
So another week has been and I have been taking this “new” medicine for 1 week today. It’s to cure both my “anxiety” as well as my low dopamine levels. It’s called Valdoxan.
Well it’s supposed to make me a nicer person. That is so untrue, I have never been nastier. I’m in Sweden now and I think Sweden would like me to leave. I’m awful. Although my mother and husband think its worst for them I can clearly say I am a worry to be around a week into my new treatment.
Oh the trembling anger that I feel under my skin. Rearing to get let loose and inflict injury wherever it sees a victim ready to pounce on.
I was unsure if it was Sweden making me like this but I think it’s more medicine related.
It’s also supposed to make me sleep sounder. No. I can’t sleep through a night. It’s either children or other family members that wake up and then makes noise to wake me up or I just won’t fall asleep. Daytime falling or crashing asleep has been known to happen quite a lot. Well I have another week before I see another doctor so I won’t be able to question anyone about this before then.
So Sweden. How is Sweden? Well other than making me the most awful nasty creature on this planet (think Godzilla, only less green) I think Sweden is ok. The weather is pleasant. It’s fun to see friends that I have been away for for a while and Stockholm never seizes to amaze me. Will they ever finish the roadworks in nortull? I mean seriously? How many years now since they started? 25 years?
Well lets hope it will finish at some point… Or maybe not… What on earth would people do then?
I have in a true marshian style visited a few hospitals. Although my stay is brief and I have no ailments, luckily (?) I have 3 daughters! So for two days now we have been in and out of St Eric’s hospital for a daughters weepy eye. She has a virus I’m told. Could also be weeping over lost lovely mummy and crying over the nasty bitch that has replaced her. But o Sweden! You have so much to learn from Spain for example when it comes to running a hospital…
I understand all the angry bloggers about the situation of healthcare in Sweden. Now I’ve seen it and lived it. I doubt it’s incompetence (naive belief/hope?) but they are just not on the ball for so many things.
Another thing that has happened in Sweden since we got here is one of my best friends has had a tumor removed from his brain. It was a sudden headache and vomiting that drove his wife to go to A&E with him and 10 days later he had a tumor the size of an apple removed. All went well. I’ve seen him (see my need to be around hospitals it’s sick I know it is) and there I must say Sweden looked ok on what they have done for him! Now he is locked in a rehabilitation unit and he is there to take it easy. Heal his wounds. Rest away from his day to day life. See I might have learnt something from visiting him anyway!
Today no real feeling of getting better. Not a lot of the getting better feeling around here much lately. I swear a lot. Cursing like a bald sailor. But seeing my friend well after a freak tumor and seeing his lovely wife also patiently putting their lives together again made me feel a little more positive again.

Keep smiling 🙂 you can keep cursing if you feel like it, but a smile will reach someone’s heart. Reaching a heart will lift your sorrows a little.

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