Welcome back! I’ve been locked up in my troubled headspace for a while now but I’m fighting to get out!

A few things have happened.
1. Back on a horse yesterday and today. Ok, not working in my usual manner but its not possible, hence I have adopted a new style. As I can’t feel or control my left side it’s very hard to get weight down on the left stirrup. That as well as left hand not being able to hold the reign as firm as usual makes my new riding style a bit freestyle. I’m thinking paralytic dressage might be an option for me. Then again I’m not sure Parkinson’s is seen as a paralytic sport. I will have to check rules for this.

2. My friend that had an operation in Sweden when I was there has had some news about his tumor that it wasn’t as they first thought a “good” tumor but indeed an evil one and he emailed all of us friends to let us know about the news. This is not a positive in the slightest but as before because I feel how strong and moving forward both my friend and his wife are, I get my strength from them.
It’s terrible news for anyone to get but still keeping a cool head and looking forward its inspirational!

Another news was that I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome on Monday. Why might you think? Well it’s because they couldn’t find anything else wrong with me. So I got a bin diagnosis. That’s doctor language for basically anyone daring to show symptoms of a disease, but having test results to show they are healthy.
Bin diagnosis often occur as:
Migraines
ME
Chronic fatigue syndrome

At first I was relieved nothing had shown up on my blood samples. But then I got diagnosed, and that totally slapped me. I had been given the most simplest explanation. But other than that nothing.
There is as always a list as long as any on things you should avoid.
Painting and coffee are the two ill miss the most.
There is no way to cure this.
You can eat certain food but as food already is a problem with me I have to start over again.
There are exercises, but as I suffer from Parkinson’s I can’t do half of them, and as I am still on medication for epilepsy I can’t swim, well unless I’m accompanied by someone strong enough to pull me out of the waster if I had an attack.
So that made me come back to riding. Even getting on is a bit of a challenge as you need to use your left leg. I’ve managed twice now so that’s alright!

My new more positive mindset could of course be the drugs, but I honestly think that the horses and my friends email is what has changed my attitude.

I still have very low energy. To the point of falling asleep un-expectantly, wherever I sit or lie down. Any time, any place. Could be the bin disease? Of course it could but so could so many other things.

I need to get on top of my diet. It’s a must! At the moment, because nothing tastes the way it should or used to, I am super limited to what I consume. I should eat more banana, avocado and apples as well as protein and lean dairy. Sounds easy enough, but when you can’t drive to supermarket, are often too tired to speak, don’t live within walking distance of anywhere shop like, it’s just that much harder.

2013 what a nasty year you have turned out to be. 2012 was always marked as a naughty year but it was only my gut feeling telling me about 2013. 2014, if we make it, there is a whole lot of love and positivity!

Keep Smiling 🙂 if there are things you can’t do, create a new style and you might find out a new you!