Upside down days

If you come from a normal active life and get thrown into the world of cancer it has an abundance of strange things happen to you. If you on the other hand come from a “normal ” super active riding/family of 3 young girls/in the process of building and changing your house around/having an operation to change your vision from double back down to single, I’m sure the affect of this transformation is almost abstractly distasteful.

I cannot believe only 2 weeks ago I was back at home riding and just getting ready to have my eye operation. I had already had the news about the cancer living inside me but it does take time to sink in, especially as I’ve had other things to think about. As a natural procedure after any General anasthetic I have taken it easy to heal from the first op (read fabulous patient that has not even once done a thing to upset any healing process). Ok, in that process I’ve travelled over Europe a couple of times, also maybe either lived in a building suite, a hotel or as a guest in my in-laws, or my sisters. We haven’t probably sported a “normal” home life since October really… Poor kids! But I shouldn’t ramble so much, the biggest change is how little physical activity I have manged to do in the last 16 days compared to what I am used to. 

I wear a Jawbone. It’s a bracelet that you wear and it follows up on every step you make/day. It can also monitor your sleep pattern/quality of sleep/overall activity/calories burned per day. It’s quite a fancy little tool. You can use it to wake up or just remind you to move if you have been still for too long. My Jawbone broke just before all of this mess started but I’ve had a replacement sent out for it. As I lie awake at night, probably not able to sleep for an abundance of things, I now decided to check the app on the difference in activity…

I shouldn’t have done that. On the 3/2 was the last day my Jawbone was working. I averaged 130% of activity every day (I had chosen a 10.000 steps/day as my goal). My sleep pattern was up in the 93% (here I had chosen a 7.5hrs as my optimal sleep/night) at the moment my “average” activity is down to between 25%-70% and my sleep pattern is down to an average of 50-65%. Well I can now understand how I feel so doublely different… 

I will now instead of complaining of this newfound ability to be awake in the middle of the night, be thankful for it, this is a time to be creative!

Yesterday I had my last meeting with the oncologist before the start of the chemo. She confirmed the cancer I have is the “hormone sensitive invasive HER2+”. It’s apparently a bit unusual but in the same way, useable because fabulous drugs have been developed against it. I will start the EC face of my Chemo on Wednesday and for 4 times every 3d week I will have the EC dripping through my “port-a-cath”. 

That’s what EC stands for. For any of you that like to google fun facts about things you hear about, one of the most “active” side effects from EC is the feeling of sickness. But I am not to worry about this apparently as anti-sickness pills will be fed to me before, during and after the procedure…

Oh Google… I think sometimes life would be easier without you! Now we can learn so much, new things that we didn’t fear before, just by a click by a button, or in my case a slide of my fingertip on a phone screen. I didn’t realise I have a fear of feeling sick. I think I got over that whilst being pregnant. I think possibly the creativeness of my mind during these wolf hours gets a little over active…

I went to a hair salon today to ask about possible wig fitting. They were so helpful! The creative director of the salon was called Max and he said I should cut my hair short before the chemo, so that if it all came out it wouldn’t be such a drastic change for me. My oncologist agreed with him, but on a more practical level, -“then you don’t have to clear the shower drain from all your hair..”

Keep smiling 🙂 tomorrow I am trying on a new style! My friend Ian recommended an Afro?!?

5 thoughts on “Upside down days

  1. Grrrrrrrr! Vad faan har hĂ€nde nu Emelie? Jag har ju inte trĂ€ffat dig sĂ„ mĂ„nga gĂ„nger men det kĂ€nns Ă€ndĂ„ som om jag kĂ€nt dig massor av Ă„r. En gemensam nĂ€mnare Ă€r vĂ„ra turer pĂ„ sjukhus. Jag med Isabella o hennes Ă„r av ep. Jag kan inte kĂ€nna hur din stuation kĂ€nns, men jag skakar i hela mig av vad som hĂ€nder dig…….Nu blir jag Asförbannad pĂ„ gubben pĂ„ molnet….eller gumman.( svagt feministiskt lagd) Kan inte Hen dela ut rĂ€ttvist nĂ„gon gĂ„ng? Det fĂ„r tamigfasen vara nog med sjukhus för din del. Du har mĂ„nga goda vĂ€nner omkring dig men du ska veta att det finns en vĂ€n i mig ocksĂ„. TĂ€nker sĂ„ pĂ„ dig! Kraaaaaaam! Keep on smiling! Charlotte Störiko

    • Hej Charlotte! Tack för ditt meddelande! Ja visst Ă€r det trist med mer sjukdomar för mig, men den hĂ€r gĂ„ngen Ă€r jag ju medveten av vad som hĂ€nder. Kramar frĂ„n London

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