Pondering things

Thats a wonderful word isn’t it? To lie here awake pondering things. I refuse to be pondering life as it feels way to heavy. No I’m here awake pondering “things” and why they happen and what to do with them.

Chemo number 3 has been a real game changer/mind challenger/dreaded sleep enforcer. Today it’s day 19 and yesterday I still had to go to bed after lunch. We met some people at lunch and one of them lived in New Zeeland, north island. He told us there was such an abundance of things to do there the only thing you needed was energy, my immediate thought was ‘wow that’s another place I won’t see for a while’. Not that I was planning on going there any time soon, but just the idea of needing energy to do things there zapped the little energy I had. It’s so hard when you come from the opposite end on the energy scale naturally, that in combination with 3 children under 8, it’s a lot to get used to. 

At least this time I managed to control the sickness. And I still haven’t catched a cold! Both pluses in this otherwise quite negative environment. I don’t know how to grade or compare the chemos but this one was definitely the hardest one on my core as a human being.

Tomorrow I’m flying back to UK for my fourth chemo. That will be half way through! And the last chemo with the EC combination of drugs. So hopefully the following 4 chemos won’t be as energy zapping… Well here is to hoping!

The weather in Mallorca is amazing! Beautiful evening on the beach last night. The girls built a Stonehenge look alike on the beach. 

   Keep smiling 🙂 pondering makes you realize how lucky you are! 

6 thoughts on “Pondering things

  1. Wishing you great strength Emelie for your next chemo treatment. Much love and thoughts to you. I shall “ponder” a few times today x

  2. OMG. Emalie I was saddened when I read your post, what is going on with you. Please please please get well and be strong for your family.
    Can’t believe how time flys as the last time I saw you was when we went to Kenilworth together and had a bit to eat.
    Since then you were poorly when you fell from your horse and now the dreaded C

    But you are young and a fighter, I’m not sure where you have it and how you found it, but let’s pray you found it early and that your in a good place to receive treatment.

    Be strong and positive and if there is anything I can do to help when your in the UK you can always call on me.

    Big hugs and kisses.

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