We are in London for the Global Championship Tours British leg. It’s incredible. They have built up the arena on the Horse Guards Parade. Bang in the middle of London! It’s such a Privilage to be here.
Julie Andrews is jumping our horses and so far 3 starts with 1 first, 1 second and 1 third! Awesome going for the team, it’s nice to be here close to the action. But in the same way it’s a bit of a reminder of how far I’ve got to go.
My mind shifts between one scenario where I will be back jumping and training to quite a high level, the other scenario is quite different. I’m not sure of what scares me more. I don’t want to see myself failing in anything. But at the moment I just see myself constantly struggling. I don’t want to be known as a failure and I’d hate to let people down by not living up to people’s expectations.
Even if people expect nothing from me it’s tough. There is almost no way I remember the things in passing. Geography is awful at the moment. As in place names. Totally gone are my previously awesome skills in finding my way everywhere. I am half of what I used to be. The sad thing is that I now become more and more aware of my failures and faults. Gone is my mindless pleasure of not really knowing what was missing. My mind is now clear enough to realize my faults and shortcomings.
Physically I think I am getting stronger. At least people that I only see once in a while comment on how much better I look! Double vision is still going strong. It’s killing my driving sometimes. But all I have to do is close one eye and then I see normal again.
David Andrews says blogging is not as much fun as snogging. So there you are!

Keep smiling 🙂 as long as you think you ARE!