Friday day of radioactive trace

Today I will yet again be luminous. Not because of my natural inner glow some people possess but from radioactive colored fluid that will get pumped into my tumor. This will make it possible for the surgeon to find what lymph node is connected to remove the right one! It’s all new science to me and you have to learn it all and so quickly.

I had a lovely online chat to an old friend of mine who is a doctor. She works with children and with them she finds it useful to name the tumors. I had 2 official tumors from the contrast MRI but the radiologist here in London found a third little one hiding behind my nipple. So the biggest tumor she named Brenda. It’s tail she named Brittany. The hiding mysterious one she called Nina. I had such a laugh and it’s true naming them helps! They now have personalities and as I’m not allowed to get to fond of them as we are now trying to kill them. I think the motto “know your enemy” comes handy.

Tomorrow I have the removal of the lymph node. They are also going to put in a “port-a-cath”. It’s an inplantable venous access system. It means that they don’t have to go through my arm veins to administer the chemo. 

In Swedish the translation of chemo is “cell-poison” which even though it’s a bit harsher is truer.

The chemo will start next Thursday. And then for the next six months every third Thursday I will have a chemo day. I will try and add something else to this day to make it more bearable, survivable, I’m not going to stretch to enjoyable but you get my thinking…

I’ve had 2 breast nurses appointed to me. They are fabulous and have all sort of beautiful information packs for any question I might have! During all the meetings with surgeons/anethiatists/oncologists they are there offering their support and helping hand. Not both at the same time but always one of them. I now have a library of information, all from books written to make children understand cancer a little bit better to the technologal super wonder tools as the “port-a-cath”. The way flying happens nowadays I need to book another 2 luggage to my Ryan air or Easyjet going home. My new library will need it!

Part of the library is a booklet called “advise and support if you lose your hair”. Well that’s some joyful reading for you! Many people say nowadays you don’t lose your hair “that much” on chemo. I guess they don’t have the same cancer as I have. In the following 5 booklets of the different chemo drugs I will have its not a matter of “if” it’s more a statement of “when” you lose your hair. We have discussed this with the nurses and doctors. There is an ice-bucket challenge for real that you can use to defend your hair follicles. But instead of the second of iced water running off you the ice bucket will be on your head 30 minutes before chemo starts, it will take between 40-180 minutes depending on what drugs will be inserted, and then you have to leave it on for a further 2 hours afterwards to keep follicles cool. By this time I think brain-freeze will have a new meaning.

At least at yesterday’s meeting good news! The 3 tumors are all related! This means they will all respond to the same treatment. Even sneaky Nina which I knew they were a bit worried about. My CT scan came back clear and my neurologist (because of the TBI I get one of those as well) saw no reason for the treatment not to go ahead. He stated as I already suffer from tiredness, the fatigue might be a little stronger for me. But he was quite impressed by my so far recovery, and managed to book me in with a psychiatrist when I’m here. To get me to work on techniques of how to slow down my temper… I do have a fairly short fuse… As I’m sure my poor family have suffered with the last couple of years.

Lots to take in and lots to learn. Dan went back to the kids today and my mother is flying in to chaperone me. I will now be in London until next Sunday when I’m allowed to fly! So any suggestions on good movies to see, places to eat, art exhibitions not missable. Well as I’m in London I might just as well be a little tourist about it! 

Keep smiling 🙂 don’t worry about anything, Irish saying; you are either gonna live or you gonna die. If you live don’t worry and if you gonna die you’ll meet so many old friends that you don’t have time to worry!

10 thoughts on “Friday day of radioactive trace

  1. Very brave as always. Your new friends sound like cyclones, which I suppose they are as they are turning your life upside down (again). My neighbour and my friend had a similar regimen to you, obviously drugs may be different. Sadly both lost their hair, BUT Anne had the most amazing wig that looked exactly the same as her hair, but was always perfectly coiffed -if there are any bonuses not having to do your hair may be a small one. Cross everything that the cold therapy preserves your hair, but if the worst happens if anyone can have fun with wigs it is you xxx

  2. Holy guacamole Emelie. 2015 was surely supposed to be better than this for you. And Dan, he has to go into superhero action man mode again. I wish you every possible piece of luck in the world. And a hug from Mallorca. xx

  3. I’m sat here in awe of your bravery and candour. Focused as I am on the usual mundane issues that we obsess about day in and day out, this reminds me of the real challenges of life. There’s a lesson in there for us all! Well done you for being so strong open about it.
    As for Brenda, Brittany and Nina…I’m thinking of a Pacman screen and the treatment gobbling them up…not sure if my imagination is running wild! Call me if you need anything. I’m not far off. xxx

  4. Nej nu blir det att boka in resa till Mallorca i sommar så vi får hänga lite! Dig saknar jag alltid! Julian och Myrna kommer nog bli ett par här framöver, så det är lika bra att de får träffas 🙂

  5. Dear Emelie, I hope all went well today, sending you lots of love!!! good to know that you are in best hands. we are here for you pls send us a message whatever comes up in your mind… And I will start scouting for some London “what I always wanted to do program”.
    Full moon lightens up the night, xxx g

  6. Em. Just read your Mum’s post on FB. Bloomin ‘eck missus. When are you back in town after this week and we will do something wild and crazy together. Have you been to see War Horse? There’s loads of good new films out. London will be hot this weekend. Walk through St James’s, down Horseguards and stop in the park for a while. What’s your UK number and I will call. Love and hugs xxxx

  7. Emelie, keep on, keeping on! You’ve had more than one challenge over the past few years, I’m sure you’ll battle this one too. You know my good buddy Mike – they told him, he would lose hair, but it all stayed, so maybe you’ll get lucky – who knows. Anyway, you always have funny hair, a skinhead might be an improvement?!

    I’ve seen Kingsman, and The Theory of Everything recently. Kingsman good, The Theory, awesome. On the restaurant front I really like Bone Daddies, and Kirazu. Both in SoHo.

    You know where I am, if you need a place to stay in England. Sending all my love, and positive energy your way. Love you.

    Lee x

  8. Hola guapa !
    Just wanted to send a little not to you. I asked Olly yesterday if he had heard from Dan. And then we saw his post on Facebook about you.
    To read your blog makes me happy about how you are tackling it . Your 3new uninvited friends ! How rued to just show up like that ! They will just have to understand that they are not welcome ! And I’m sure they will get it . With your strength and a little help from the Drs .
    If the hair goes there is amazing pink wigs to bridge it until your own is back ! If chest has to go there are amazing new ones you can get ! The most important is that those three uninvited ones disappears!
    Lots of love and kramar Petra

  9. Hi Emelie

    i have one advice for you you can take a “wheatgrass powder” 3 times a day with water and it will help to recover fast from chemo.

    Thanks May be this thing helps you.
    Best Of Luck

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