I am about to break a promise made to my mother a couple of months ago.

I promised her never to write about the hard stuff, the weighty stuff, the teary hateful stuff that surrounds me at times. I’m sorry but day 4 after chemo leaves me without any other outcome, I have a need to tell you about it.

It actually started a bit earlier than expected. Last night I was in my comatose deadness. Dark veil surrounding me, forcing me to lie down and sleep. I could hear the Mosquitos feasting on my chemo riddled body, but I couldn’t do anything to make them go away. Mind over matter doesn’t work that way unfortunately. So from a great day 3 after chemo to the no so great evening of day 3 after chemo to the nasty day 4 after chemo.

I woke up upstairs. Strange. Can’t even remember getting upstairs. Walking and stairs is not a combo often done on day 3/4 after chemo. The tiredness surrounding me is total. I don’t know what to compare it to because it’s totally filling me. There is no way of shaking it off. After 12 hours asleep I can still not even talk properly. 

I manage to get down to sofa. Here I park myself. Husband brings me water and I have anti sickness treats. And my lovely feast of potassium K. Luckily some of the other drugs that I take makes sure I won’t puke all over sofa or loving husband.

After some updates on world news from the BBC, I realize the world is still going to hell at an alarming rate as over 38 people have been shot dead in Tunisia on the beach. Also the highest rated movie of the week is “Minions”, apparently it’s full of humor and slap stick… If one is not a fan of slap stick one probably should leave it alone…

I managed to make my way down to the kitchen and made some tea. It’s unbelievable how hard it all is for me. Now I’ve run out of things to write because I’m too tired.

😬

Keep smiling 🙂 one day more and you might feel something again.