Creative thinking sparkling mind- Body not cooperating 

We are here yet again. The day before I travel back to London for my next chemo treatment. Time seems to have flown by this time. Mostly because of my newfound love for Game of Thrones! What a masterpiece of storytelling! I was hooked from the last scene in the first episode. The way how the writers lure you in with their false sense of security and basically rip your heart out when they allow you to start sympatize with someone only to kill them off… Pure story brilliance! 

My life after chemo 5, aka first of four of the new kind of chemo, has been a roller coaster of emotions. My mind is clear. I can have proper conversations with people and realize my memory is getting a little better but my tiredness seems to get worse. Physical tiredness that is. My mind is still awake/ problem solving/ deciding what needs to get done, then the body just switches off. It’s gone past annoying, it now is infuriating. If you have met the slightly annoyed me you know that you should, quite rightly so, fear the furious me. Luckily for the people I live with I get too tired to do anything through my fury, instead I fall asleep on the sofa. Better for everybody. Except maybe for my mind…

It’s what I’ve feared most intensely since my first injury. To have this bright, sparkling mind locked inside this slow moving not clearly responding body. Stephen Hawkin’s problem, ah well more or less.

This time my youngest daughter will come with me to London. With the summer holidays here we have an exact schedule until the end of August. I know exactly where I am every day from today until the 30/8. It’s quite a revelation being this well planned. I have only one worry. The heat. As Dan pointed out to me today, -You might be this tired because of the heat. Ah well, I bloody well hope not. It’s not even that hot yet. Today only 28-29 degrees. Here in the summer it can easily get over 35 degrees… I might have to rethink my very planned summer if that’s the case.

I must raise a glass and congratulate the WGE team with the horses that this week have won so much! Ayrton won 2 classes at The Royal Highland show, the A&B stakes and the Grand Prix and wonderful The Drawness won the 7 year old Talent Seeker class with 80 entries! He and  Julie have now qualified HOYS! (Horse of the Year Show) It’s the second week of October so I’ll have to make sure I’ve had the operation and haven’t started my radiation therapy by then.

Keep Smiling 🙂 according to Annie you are not fully dressed without one!

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