As previously told, I have a naturally high tempo, in all aspects of life. Hence I’m not surprised I have all things challenging happening to me. In my 20’s I never thought I would get to 30. In my 30’s I had too many small children around me to think at all. Now in my 40’s all I remember is that I forget a lot.
After the crusiate ligament rupture in January, the stem cells taken from my bone marrow to help the healing process, it proved to be done for nothing. On the MRI that I did beginning of April it showed that it was gone. “Poff”, just like that, once there healing happily inside my knee, now not. On the MRI there was nothing. I’m not sure how you are supposed to react when after 4 intensive months of rehab and getting back to approximate speed of average me. To hear I need not 1 but 2 operations that finally will make me able to jump horses again. To also hear I’m not allowed to ‘touch a horse for 6 months’ (doctor’s word).
I’ve had enough of operations for a lifetime in the last 5 years alone. There are as many opinions as there are people when it comes to crusiate ligaments. Someone always knows someone else who manges being a pro-footballer, ice skater, skiier without crusiate ligaments, and they are doing fine, one would never know they have a disability Etcetera. They have not been with me on a horse that freaks out just a little bit, and just by jumping ever so slightly to one side sends shivers through my spine. The intensity of the pain that roars from my knee and almost makes me black out or wet myself. If only for a split second, it’s enough for me to realize I can never attempt to start jumping again without my crusiate ligament to support my knee.
So decision made. On way now to yet another surgery in the UK. It will be 6 months physio therapy. I will as always try and see the best of the situation. This will give me time to focus, get more indepth knowledge, possibly finally write something… the world is my oyster. I am ever so slightly hesistent and almost close to tears, but as I know this is a possibility for me to get back on track again. Let’s stay strong for another couple of months. So maybe you will see me back jumping the beginning of 2018?
Keep smiling 🙂 even when you land in sunshine in Luton, it’s still Luton!