Today it’s 1 year since the faithful 3d October 2012 or 1 week since the accident that broke half of me.
Reflections on the passed time is a battle for me. Partly because of my newfound loss of memory… And partly because my aim is always forward striding.
I was hoping the 3d of October 2013 would be an opening as a new beginning for me and the family.
I quit the anti epileptic drugs yesterday. So technically I should be able to drink alcohol and by Saturday I should be able legally to drive a car.
I have never been a huge alcohol drinker, and as for car driving, I don’t think it’s possible with a leg in a full straight cast and 1 arm in a full bent cast.
The memory loss thing is a worry. It’s not only that I have lost 2 years of memories, but on a daily basis I struggle to remember names of places and persons. If someone stops me mid-conversation I lose the plot instantly, and it doesn’t come back to my unless someone else remembers first.
So a full week has been spent on the sofa in our living room. The longest distance I gave travelled daily is to the loo and through the back doors to the patio, to breathe real outdoors air.
This morning though I challenged some steps for the first time! It went ok!!!! I survived all 5 steps into our kitchen and 5 steps back to the living room! That was like a small outing for me!!! The beams in the kitchen smiling at me as I descended! The taps all shining in recognition of me! Then I realized it didn’t really matter I could get down there as I still couldn’t prepare any food as you need 1 hand to carry something and my only available hand was in control of the crutch. Letting go of the crutch ment no more journeys into far away kitchen land, or anywhere at all.
In short what has the last year made me realize about life? Probably that it’s short and we should cherish what we have right now more often.
What has the last week made me realize? For sure never take anything for granted and also the only one you ever need to be able to live with is yourself.
Everybody’s first question to me is how are you? Or how do you feel? Honestly? I guess it’s the polite way but it’s almost an invite for sad or bad thoughts to get vented. I decided day one on my sofa that this mission of sofa laying would not bring my spirit down. I rose above it. And I admit I don’t spend to much time questioning why? Because how would it bring me forward? I instead ignore now and focus solely on what will happen.
I guess it’s a crazy foolishness I surround myself with. But what do I know? At the moment I am really happy. I accept where I am and I am still thankful that I am here.
Watching a whole lot of TV has helped my days go faster and excellent visits from excellent friends bringing a whole lot of even more excellent treats!!
I will promote Ziva and La Coqueria in Santa Catalina where a lot of my raw food/great food treats come from!
I still live in the knowledge of this year being cursed. And I choose to ignore it. Can’t wait for 2014 so I am already planning our new years party!
Keep smiling 🙂 explore your world and taste new things! You might love it!