Sorry for this delay! I should put a reminder for me to remember to fill this space. I hope your lives have stayed full even though my pages have been a bit empty lately.

I find myself on the beach. Not on just any beach but at Thonga beach! In the region of Kwazulu Natal in South Africa.

We are here thanks to my mother Eva. She had a special birthday and for all of us to forget about that she sent us down here. We are here kids and all. We started off “safaraing” for 5 days and now we are exploring the coastline.

Health wise this is where I am today.

After coming back from Europe to see my horses jumping I kept going at that tempo at home. Not good. I have to learn sometime… I started going form one place to the next and ignoring little signs that my body was sending me. As I was too busy getting things done, my daughters birthday party and horses before I was leaving for Africa, I couldn’t slow down. And then I got vertigo. Every time I walked, stood up, lied down, turned over my whole world was spinning uncontrollable. I lost my balance and fell over for very small every day things such as going to the loo or getting out of bed.

I’m not a fan of falling over. The spinning I don’t mind so much, I just try to enjoy my own private roller coaster, but falling over is always a bit tricky. No matter how focused I am on the task of falling it never works out the way you planned it to. And with a left side still protesting on my every exercise it nearly always ends up damaging me more.

I went to see a doctor the day I started falling over and she checked all my vitals and she came to the conclusion that the vertigo was probably due to an inner ear infection but to rule out any other nasty neurological stuff she referred me to see a new neurologist. That neurologist seems a popular woman and I’m booked in to see her when I come back from Africa. I saw my other doctor once more before going to Africa just to make sure I would be ok to fly, I got the ok!

We flew 4 planes. 2 international and 2 domestic to get here. As well as spending times in bus transfers that all get lost on the strange roads in Kwazulu Natal. But here it’s magical. The sad thing is that not until now I’ve realized that I have real restrictions in my life. Ok the head spinning is not making things easy but I have chosen to soldier on regardless. I think delving to far down in to feeling sorry for myself doesn’t ever bring me satisfaction or solves any problems for me. But I got the realization yesterday. Just as we had arrived at this slice of paradise. I can’t do so many of the “natural” things I would like to do when I am on a vacation.

Exploring things by foot is kind of hard to do. Running or exercising also not really an option. I cannot kayak, scuba dive or do anything that would put me in danger of falling over or tripping. So relaxing on a sun lounger is what is on my capable plan. That’s possibly why people take vacations in the first place but as people who know me knows how far away this is from the core me, it was a lot to take in and accept.

Today is a new day. The sun is still shining. The Indian Ocean keeps rolling in to the 20km deserted beach we have been designated.

I am getting a bit better and less dizzy day by day. Let’s hope by the time I return it will all be a thing in the past.

Keep smiling 🙂 crying sometimes is the necessary evil to allow your blocked thought process to complete