I wait therefore I am

I’m sorry there has been so long since I’ve updated this page. There are so many things happening in my life at the moment and most of them are brilliant and I really just enjoy being able to do them, others are quite complex and take time. I’m not sure how to fit in everything in my full time life, need a few more hours on the 24hr spectrum. A 36hr day would suit me much better.

When it comes to the horses it’s all going good. I still got a little bit of double vision, but as long as I keep a good canter I can jump! 3 weeks ago I won my first class for 4 years! I was very happy with it even though it was only a 1.1m and until I got a message from Facebook of one of my “memories” from 4 years ago was me winning the Mallorcan championship. This was before my first accident. Before my life changed and I became this new person.

I have changed in so many ways, my closest are the ones that suffers mostly. I have always had quite a short fuse, now it’s non existent. If you annoy me, or if you are rude or bullying any of my family or friends, God be with you! I do not have the break that slows down ones reactions and makes it easier to control an outraged attack. I need just a little to really set me off. Teeth bared, muscles flexed. No I make it sound a bit worse than it actually is. My family have to endure my shorter temper. That I shout, tell them off, demand things to be done, food to be eaten, toys to be picked up and cleared away… With people outside my family and friends, they should all be aware! You do not annoy a TBI sufferer who has lost another year of her life due to cancer. If you choose to attack one of my family members or a close friend or even just what I believe in, be well aware, I have no breaks to calm down my aggression.

Time has such another value to me now. I appreciate that I’m still around, but for the last couple of years the amount of time I’ve been away from my life, my family, wasted in hospitals or sleeping. It can drive me crazy just thinking about what I could have done with the time that I’ve lost. It’s funny how that can get me more down than other things, probably because time lost is something I really can’t do anything about.

Time goes so fast and I’m here waiting, 

Keep smiling 🙂 

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