11 months have passed

I cannot believe it. 11 whole months of my life has passed…

I feel like I’ve more or less have lost almost 3 years. The day to day fighting trying to stretch my limits a little further, only to realize I am still far behind where I was in May.

But ok here we go AGAIN. Yesterday I regained something that has been amiss since may, my synchronization that makes it possible for me to run. So that’s what I did! Mostly on the spot or in a small circle, but I RAN! I have never been so happy about any single thing that I have managed to do! It somehow made me realize I might just might learn to live with this.

I have quit my dopamine drug now. I have been dopamine free for nearly 9 days and my tiredness has started to fade! I put it down to the quitting of drinking coffee. I love coffee. It makes me feel like a real person. Nespresso makes loads of delicious flavors. I was on decaf for a bit but grew tired of the plain coffees. I started adding a sugar and drank caffeinated coffee with 1 sugar as a rule. Maybe 1-3 every day. Then I decided, as I can’t really taste the sweetness of sugar and I only really took one as I felt it was a bit naughty. So about 3 weeks ago I stopped drinking sugar in my coffee. Little by little I started to get affected by coffee in ways I never have heard anyone else be affected by it. I got more tired. In the end I almost fell asleep whilst riding. I tried to double up my coffee and on the last caffeine day I drank 2 coffees between horses. Then I very nearly fell asleep on the horse. Afterwards I slept 5 hours during that day. And still managed to go to bed at 10pm and slept a full 8hr night.

So what happened? Well caffeine when it reached my body got my insulin really shooting out and working overtime trying to get rid of any available sugar in my system. That’s why I got such demanding tiredness. I finished the caffeinated coffee and since then I have not had a mid day sleep!

There is so much happening and I guess my poor Spanish neurologist will have a heart failure when she heard of me quitting all her drugs. To the new drug free me!

I have had a razor sharp, ultra quick visit from Julie Andrews. She won the Ladies Championship at Scope festival last week and came here mon-Wednesday. So yesterday as I was feeling so well, with run in my legs, we jumped! I jumped 4 horses and Julie got on our very favorite Golden Girl, Lucky!

It went very well! I didn’t jump big, only about 1 meter, but we worked with keeping the horses straight and using their backs and dropping their heads. It was awesome! I am so in awe! I don’t think you can appreciate what you have until you are forced to live without it for a while. Then if you are lucky enough to regain what you’ve lost and experience it again, that is magical!

Keep Smiling 🙂 magic appears wherever you least expect it.

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