Ok so my erratical writing on here will stop. I will promise to make this a 2 times a week at least blog!
Today has been a very tired day. From beginning when I woke up until now. Every time I have gone somewhere, off sofa, in to kitchen to eat, to see kids in other room, I have felt dizzy and more tired than ever. Dan is back here now and he thinks it’s normal and part of recovery. I who have just talked to translator in hospital last week and was told by her that I was sleeping too much do not dare falling asleep during the day as it might damage my recovery.
Yesterday we had a huge day. In the morning walk to stable, riding out with the little ponies and lunging as well as treating horses. When I was coming with in the car to pick up Dan from the airport I was almost falling asleep, and at home it wasn’t going much better. I had almost decided to try and stay in sofa instead of joining Dan and the girls in town. Then I had a vision. Of me getting old here on sofa with no one to keep me company. That is a scary thought. At this moment all I crave is a little quiet and solace, but if you would be alone without choosing it, unthinkable.
So I gathered the strength I had and got myself walking to the car. Drunk a coffee with caffeine in to boost my energy. And we went for a 3 hours in town. Eating at a restaurant and watching the varied and vivid early night life of Palma. We saw a drum band that were amazing! So I guess yesterday took its toll, and today I am really smashed.
I am looking forward to the week ahead though. Monday, walk in morning and work with horses. Meeting with physio and doctor. Tuesday lunch with girlfriends followed by training at Son Gual and then possibly new walk (depending on how I feel) Wednesday depending on what doctor says: Ride a horse??? Thursday more walking and working with horses.
I’m afraid of everybody’s need of telling me that I need to change. To slow down. How is that even possible? My engine does not do slow, ever. I will stall. like a Ferrari engine driven with too much throttle and not enough gas. It’s mechanically wrong for me to do slow. I don’t think its part of the core me and thats where I have seen the change already. The core me is not afraid of challenge. Never bothered about tasks. Not faced by heights. The new me (the slow one) would do everything trying to avoid said challenges, tasks or heights. I don’t see how she could be me…
Hopefully I will get the go ahead from doctors and physios that riding will be ok in the coming days… I will start just walking for a bit. I am struggling with double vision when I am as tired as I am today. I really don’t need this double vision as it’s playing mayhem with my reading and writing. Never mind.
Keep Smiling 🙂 If you are close to me I’ll see 2 smiles!